New jokes thread

[Bob D.]

Subject: 100%

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more
than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone
wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What
makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer
these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far *** kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While
Hard work! and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, it's the Bullshit and *** kissing that will
put you over the top.

[BadgerDave]

That's just
H O R S E S H I T
8+15+18+19+5+19+8+9+20 = 121
:D :D :D

[MrsSeatDown]

But what if you are an
o-v-e-r-a-c-h-i-e-v-e-r?

15+22+5+18+1+3+8+9+5+22+5+18= 131%

That was for you Mark;)

[Woussko]

While the old bull has his tail up high in air, that's a great post, Bob D.

WOUSSKO would be far less than 0
23 - 15 - 21 - 15 - 15 - 11 - 15 = :lol: :confused: :mad: :nyaa-nyaa4: