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  • new jeresy police said:

    The following 15 New Jersey state Police Comments were taken off actual
    police car videos around the state .

    #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
    after you wear them a while."

    # 14 "If you take your hands off t he car, I'll make your birth certificate
    a worthless document."

    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed
    of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

    #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write
    anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

    #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.
    Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again
    or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.
    Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
    ride on rides,
    eat cotton candy & corn dogs & step in monkey poop."

    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets & my wife gets a toaster oven."

    #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

    #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

    #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed
    to write as many tickets as we can."

    #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of
    yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

    The envelope please............ .........

    AND THE WINNER IS....

    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
    Sign here."
    9/11/01, never forget.

  • #2
    Re: new jeresy police said:

    True story....
    Guy at work got pulled over by the Florida State Police near Sarasota...

    He was getting ready to make out a check and asked the officer which Charity Ball should he make the check out to....the officer said...Sir the State Police doesnt have balls!! LOL

    Realizing what he said...the officer turned back to his car, got in, and drove off....
    9/11/01, never forget.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: new jeresy police said:

      A teenage boy was stopped for speeding on a city street. The officer approached the boy's car and asked for his license and registration. As the boy was retrieving his paperwork the officer said, "Yeah... I've been waiting for you all day". The Teenager responded with, "Well I got here as fast as I could, Sir"...
      With that the officer laughed, shook his head, gave the boy his license back and let him go...
      9/11/01, never forget.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: new jeresy police said:

        In the version that I heard, it was the Massachusetts State police that didn't have any b---s.

        A neighbor of mine was driving along the highway with his two small sons in the back seat. He was pulled over by the State police. He muttered, "What do I do now". One of his sons replied, "Why don't you cry, like mommy does".

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