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13 questions to ask before getting married

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  • 13 questions to ask before getting married

    Question #1: What percentage of our income are we prepared to spend to purchase and maintain our home on a monthly or annual basis?

    Question #2: Who is responsible for keeping our house and yard cared for and organized? Are we different in our needs for cleanliness and organization?

    Question #3: How much money do we earn together? Now? In one year? In five years? Ten? Who is responsible for which portion? Now? In one year? Five? Ten?
    Question #4: What is our ultimate financial goal regarding annual income, and when do we anticipate achieving it? By what means, and through what efforts?

    Question #5: What are our categories of expense (rent, clothing, insurance, travel)? How much do we spend monthly, annually, in each category? How much do we want to be able to spend?

    Question #6: How much time will each of us spend at work, and during what hours? Do we begin work early? Will we prefer to work into the evening?

    Question #7: If one of us doesn't want to work, under what circumstances, if any, would that be okay?

    Question #8: How ambitious are you? Are we comfortable with the other's level of ambition?

    Question #9: Do we eat meals together? Which ones? Who is responsible for the food shopping? Who prepares the meals? Who cleans up afterward?

    Question #10: Is each of us happy with the other's approach to health? Does one have habits or tendencies that concern the other (e.g., smoking, excessive dieting, poor diet)?

    Question #11: If we have children, what kind of relationship do we hope our parents will have with their grandchildren? How much time will they spend together?

    Question #12: Will we have children? If so, when? How many? How important is having children to each of us?

    Question #13: How will having a child change the way we live now? Will we want to take time off from work, or work a reduced schedule? For how long? Will we need to rethink who is responsible for housekeeping?

  • #2
    Re: 13 questions to ask before getting married

    Originally posted by mrs. westcoast View Post
    Question #1: What percentage of our income are we prepared to spend to purchase and maintain our home on a monthly or annual basis?

    Question #2: Who is responsible for keeping our house and yard cared for and organized? Are we different in our needs for cleanliness and organization?

    Question #3: How much money do we earn together? Now? In one year? In five years? Ten? Who is responsible for which portion? Now? In one year? Five? Ten?
    Question #4: What is our ultimate financial goal regarding annual income, and when do we anticipate achieving it? By what means, and through what efforts?

    Question #5: What are our categories of expense (rent, clothing, insurance, travel)? How much do we spend monthly, annually, in each category? How much do we want to be able to spend?

    Question #6: How much time will each of us spend at work, and during what hours? Do we begin work early? Will we prefer to work into the evening?

    Question #7: If one of us doesn't want to work, under what circumstances, if any, would that be okay?

    Question #8: How ambitious are you? Are we comfortable with the other's level of ambition?

    Question #9: Do we eat meals together? Which ones? Who is responsible for the food shopping? Who prepares the meals? Who cleans up afterward?

    Question #10: Is each of us happy with the other's approach to health? Does one have habits or tendencies that concern the other (e.g., smoking, excessive dieting, poor diet)?

    Question #11: If we have children, what kind of relationship do we hope our parents will have with their grandchildren? How much time will they spend together?

    Question #12: Will we have children? If so, when? How many? How important is having children to each of us?

    Question #13: How will having a child change the way we live now? Will we want to take time off from work, or work a reduced schedule? For how long? Will we need to rethink who is responsible for housekeeping?
    Wait a minute you mean I have a voice in these issues? Brenda told me she made all of those decisions.

    Mark
    "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

    I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: 13 questions to ask before getting married

      Zeljka, it's too late for that now

      All that matters now is that Rick pays all my bills and I have dinner on the table when he gets home from work

      Joey
      I love my plumber

      "My Hero"

      Welcome, Phoebe Jacqueline!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: 13 questions to ask before getting married

        Originally posted by mrs. westcoast View Post
        Question #13: How will having a child change the way we live now? Will we want to take time off from work, or work a reduced schedule? For how long? Will we need to rethink who is responsible for housekeeping?
        This is where people really need to plan and think things out. Having a child is the greatest responsibility a person can take on. Both parents must be very willing to make major changes in their lives. Both parents must be willing to take proper care of their children and raise them correctly. This do not mean that one parent is the parent while the other only cares about financial matters. A child really should know both parents and receive unconditional love and care from both.
        Last edited by Woussko; 10-03-2007, 04:19 PM.

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        • #5
          Re: 13 questions to ask before getting married

          When we got married (54 years ago) I gave my wife the checkbook, put my check in the bank, kept out enough for gas, (wasn't much, then) and told her to pay the bills and whatever was left she could spend as she chose. (Of course, if I wanted anything, I just charged it! )

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          • #6
            Re: 13 questions to ask before getting married

            And before you have kids make sure you have a solid marriage. Step father/mothers,except in very rare instances,do not love a child like it is there own. A household w/Mom and Dad under one roof works best!!!Of course I do understand sometimes divorce is the only way out!!!Glad I/m happily married w/ 2 beautiful daughters.
            You can never have enough drills-too many is just enough!!!!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: 13 questions to ask before getting married

              Originally posted by Pipestone Kid View Post
              When we got married (54 years ago) I gave my wife the checkbook, put my check in the bank, kept out enough for gas, (wasn't much, then) and told her to pay the bills and whatever was left she could spend as she chose. (Of course, if I wanted anything, I just charged it! )
              OMG that's how my marriage works!!!!Mrs pays the bills and I do charge way way too much!!!Mrs does work though.
              You can never have enough drills-too many is just enough!!!!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: 13 questions to ask before getting married

                You can't ask those questions before marriage.

                Things change, people change.

                Then verses now, I would be wrong on at least 8 of them.

                Love will find a way to make it all work. (too corny?)

                10 years for us next month

                I need a really good gift. Any suggestions would be appreciated

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: 13 questions to ask before getting married

                  wow 5 of those 13 delt with money, i guess if some one asked me them i would tell them where to go, at the last time i looked in my bank i had more than i will ever need in my life time and if anyone asked me those questions then i would know where there mind is at because they would have no heart.


                  just my two copper peices
                  9/11/01, never forget.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: 13 questions to ask before getting married

                    My new wife and I have two very simple rules.
                    I pay the bills.
                    She complains.

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                    • #11
                      Re: 13 questions to ask before getting married

                      HAHA Duck, sounds like our arrangement

                      Joey
                      I love my plumber

                      "My Hero"

                      Welcome, Phoebe Jacqueline!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: 13 questions to ask before getting married

                        Very good questions and all are valid. IMO people fall in lust, then they fall in love. At least that's what happened to me and the wif. Something to add-religion. I'm not a religous person and neither was my wife when I first met her. I went on a deployment and she had started going to church to make sense of things and continues going to this day. It was through our respect for each that made that part of the relationship work. Pcrack is right, people change habits but values are stay pretty constant and I think are the most important.
                        Buy cheap, buy twice.

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                        • #13
                          Re: 13 questions to ask before getting married

                          Ya know Ben, that was perfect.
                          Her eyes are what first got me.
                          Her diligence made me all mushy once I got to know her, she'd work 3 jobs before she let a credit card payment be late.
                          I'm almost the opposite, I'd pay some bills every other month and look at the late fee as if it were a convenience fee (kidding...sorta).
                          She was all over me like white on rice when I first started self employment to pay ALL bills ontime, she was right.
                          Turned out to be absolutely essential for me to build credit in business and I have done very well.
                          We have slowly learned to incorporate each others strengths into our own part of the deal.
                          So Joey...though I was kidding, in a sense I wasn't.
                          I love that lil' pain in my butt.

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                          • #14
                            Re: 13 questions to ask before getting married

                            when i met my wife her friends were telling her he will not last with you and she said that he will be my husband some day . and my friends said she is to good for you and to have fun before she dumps me . well after 22 yrs later we still work things out and still have a good time being with each other and have 2 teenage girls . and Rosie to
                            Charlie

                            My seek the peek fundraiser page
                            http://observatory.mountwashington.o...nal&fr_id=1040


                            http://www.mountwashington.org/weather/conditions.php

                            new work pictures 12/09
                            http://public.fotki.com/hvachawk/

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                            • #15
                              Re: 13 questions to ask before getting married

                              No questions, can be asked like that. My wife and I have been together for 4 years, and married for 1. We came to an understanding when we started to live together. The bills get paid no matter what PERIOD. I have my money and she has hers and there is the "house" account. I put money in and she puts money in(some times she is more than me). All I know is that I love my wife, and thats thats. Sure money and jobs(I got a real one this week) can be a *****, and make things difficult. Just remember that you married for love and not money(I hope) thats the bottom line.

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