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  • New jokes thread

    Subject: 100%

    This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

    What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
    Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more
    than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone
    wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What
    makes up 100% in life?
    Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer
    these questions:

    If:
    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

    is represented as:
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
    Then:

    H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
    8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

    and

    K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
    11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

    But,

    A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
    1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

    And,

    B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
    2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

    AND, look how far *** kissing will take you.

    A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
    1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

    So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While
    Hard work! and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
    get you there, it's the Bullshit and *** kissing that will
    put you over the top.
    "When we build let us think we build forever. Let it not be for present delight nor for present use alone. Let it be such work that our descendants will thank us for, and let us think, as we lay stone upon stone, that a time is to come when these stones will be held sacred because our hands have touched them, and that men will say, as they look upon the labor and wrought substance of them, "See! This our fathers did for us."
    John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

  • #2
    Re: New jokes thread

    That's just
    H O R S E S H I T
    8+15+18+19+5+19+8+9+20 = 121
    ================================================== ====
    ~~Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

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    • #3
      Re: New jokes thread

      But what if you are an
      o-v-e-r-a-c-h-i-e-v-e-r?

      15+22+5+18+1+3+8+9+5+22+5+18= 131%

      That was for you Mark
      I love my plumber

      "My Hero"

      Welcome, Phoebe Jacqueline!

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      • #4
        Re: New jokes thread

        While the old bull has his tail up high in air, that's a great post, Bob D.

        WOUSSKO would be far less than 0
        23 - 15 - 21 - 15 - 15 - 11 - 15 =

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