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Investment tips for 2009

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  • Investment tips for 2009

    For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
    Watch for these consolidations in 2008:
    1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. will merge and become:
    Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
    2.) PolygramRecords, Warner Bros., and ZestaCrackers join forces and become:
    Poly, Warner Cracker.
    3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
    MMMGood .
    4.. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
    ZipAudiDoDa
    5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
    FedUP.
    6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
    Fairwell Honeychild.
    7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
    PouponPants.
    8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
    Knott NOW!
    And finally...
    9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:
    ...
    ...





















    TittyTittyBangBang
    OH, YOU KNOW YOU LOVED THAT ONE.....
    Great Link for a Construction Owner/Tradesmen, and just say Garager sent you....

    http://www.contractorspub.com

    A good climbing rope will last you 3 to 5 years, a bad climbing rope will last you a life time !!!

  • #2
    Re: Investment tips for 2009

    ================================================== ====
    ~~Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Investment tips for 2009

      >Since this is a Election year I thought you all would like this ....
      >
      >Why did the chicken cross the road?
      >
      >BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
      >change! The chicken wanted change!
      >
      >JOHN MCCAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he
      >recognized the need to stand and fight the enemy and keep America
      >safe. The need to be victorious against our enemies!
      >
      >HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that
      >little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
      >qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this
      >country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then,
      >this really isn't about me.
      >
      >GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the
      >road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
      >road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There
      >is no middle ground here.
      >
      >DICK CHENEY: Where's my shotgun?!
      >
      >COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
      >satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
      >
      >BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is
      >your definition of chicken?
      >
      >AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
      >
      >JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
      >now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
      >about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will
      >remain against it.
      >
      >AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
      >
      >DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
      >realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the
      >road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the
      >road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting
      >by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
      >
      >OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which
      >is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
      >chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part
      >of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just
      >drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
      >
      >ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
      >but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the
      road.
      >
      >NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You
      >can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
      >
      >PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
      >
      >MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken
      >was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my
      >eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave
      >me any insider information.
      >
      >DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
      >toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've
      >not been told.
      >
      >ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
      >
      >JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see
      >the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.'
      Yes, my
      >friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will
      >become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out
      >this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
      >harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be
      >crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
      >
      >GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
      >road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
      enough.
      >
      >BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will
      >be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
      >heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting,
      >and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
      >
      >ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
      >
      >JOHN LENNON: i Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
      >together, in peace.
      >
      >BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only
      >cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
      >balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
      >eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never
      >crash........reboot.
      >
      >ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
      >road move beneath the chicken?
      >
      >COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
      Great Link for a Construction Owner/Tradesmen, and just say Garager sent you....

      http://www.contractorspub.com

      A good climbing rope will last you 3 to 5 years, a bad climbing rope will last you a life time !!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Investment tips for 2009

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Investment tips for 2009

          the real reason the chicken crossed the road was to pove to the armadillo it COULD be done

          steve
          In the never ending struggle to keep the water flowing.... The Poo Poo Cowboy rides again!!!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Investment tips for 2009

            The real question what was the chicken doing on the road in the first place?
            http://www.jcremodeling.net/

            Comment


            • #7
              Something to think about....

              If you bought $1000 worth of stock a year ago, you would now have:

              $91.28 if you bought Washington Mutual -or-
              $37.50 if you bought Neomagic -or-
              $21.29 if you bought Freddie Mac -or-
              $20.79 if you bought Fannie Mae






              But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago and drank
              all the beer, and then turned in the cans for the recycling REFUND...

              You would have... $214.00 in cash.

              So the best investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.



              It's called the 401-Keg Plan

              "When we build let us think we build forever. Let it not be for present delight nor for present use alone. Let it be such work that our descendants will thank us for, and let us think, as we lay stone upon stone, that a time is to come when these stones will be held sacred because our hands have touched them, and that men will say, as they look upon the labor and wrought substance of them, "See! This our fathers did for us."
              John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Investment tips for 2009

                If you bought $5k in stock in Morgan Stanley after hearing the news last night about the Mitsubishi deal, it's worth $9k tonight.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Investment tips for 2009

                  Originally posted by duckbutter View Post
                  if you bought $5k in stock in morgan stanley after hearing the news last night about the mitsubishi deal, it's worth $9k tonight.

                  sell!
                  "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

                  I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Investment tips for 2009

                    Originally posted by toutahnow View Post
                    sell!
                    duh!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      All these tips are fine and it is suitable for 2009. What about investment tips for 2015? My choices to investment on Mutual Fund investment.

                      Mutual Fund India

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        My advice dig a nice big hole in your backyard drop a 4 gallon plastic drum or drums with screwed lids, stuff them with your cash or gold and bury them, but most importantly stay away from the stock market, or banks as a wild ride is on the way curtesy of China.

                        Tony

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