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Why Men Shouldn't Shop (Classic Joke)

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  • Why Men Shouldn't Shop (Classic Joke)

    THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T TAKE MEN TO THE STORE WITH YOU

    After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her
    trips to Target.
    Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
    preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women -
    - she loved to browse.

    Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the
    local Target.

    Dear Mrs. Samsel,
    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
    commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed
    below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
    people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
    5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
    the women's restroom..

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
    voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
    M&M's on layaway.

    6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.'

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
    other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
    from the bedding department.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
    crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used
    it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
    he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
    humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

    12.. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by u sing different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
    through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
    he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

    And last, but not least.



    15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
    awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

    "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

    I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

  • #2
    Re: Why Men Shouldn't Shop (Classic Joke)

    Sorry Joey I realize this is ammo for Rick.

    Mark
    "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

    I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Why Men Shouldn't Shop (Classic Joke)

      you remember the time in san diego when joey had matt/ from ridgid paged over the loudspeaker that his mother was waiting for him at the checkstand

      rick.
      phoebe it is

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Why Men Shouldn't Shop (Classic Joke)

        Originally posted by PLUMBER RICK View Post
        you remember the time in san diego when joey had matt/ from ridgid paged over the loudspeaker that his mother was waiting for him at the checkstand

        rick.
        I'm not sure who was more shocked Matt or the associate who paged him for his "mommy".

        Mark
        "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

        I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Why Men Shouldn't Shop (Classic Joke)

          Originally posted by ToUtahNow View Post
          Sorry Joey I realize this is ammo for Rick.

          Mark
          actually the best is when i hid the remote controlled fart machine in my buddies cart at a crowded costco

          he actually had fun with it and hammed it up.

          considering he is a g.i. dr. he knew how to act the part

          watching the other pass by was priceless

          rick.
          phoebe it is

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Why Men Shouldn't Shop (Classic Joke)

            Great joke. I have already forwarded it. Thanks for the llaughs.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Why Men Shouldn't Shop (Classic Joke)

              Why men SHOULD do all the shopping.

              Click image for larger version

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              ---------------
              Light is faster than sound. That's why some people seem really bright until you hear them speak.
              ---------------
              “If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber.” - Albert Einstein
              ---------
              "Its a table saw.... Do you know where your fingers are?"
              ---------
              sigpic http://www.helmetstohardhats.com/

              Comment

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