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  • Telemarketers

    Am I the only one in the World who still gets flooded with telemarketer calls? I probably get 2-4 calls a day offering to lower my credit card payments, 3-calls per week warning my car warranty is about to run out and one call per week for a lower interest rate on my mortgage. I have 4-land lines coming into the house but all of the lines are on the National DO NOT CALL list.

    Initially I would just hang up but then I decided that just gives them more time to call the next person. Now instead I enter the key to ask for the next available representative to assist me. They are on the line fairly quickly and act excited to help. I give them what they want to hear and they get a little more excited. I then tell them I owe about 55 in credit cards and my current rate is way too high. They ask is that $55 dollars or $5,500 to which I answer no it's $55,000. They pause for a moment then ask how high my rate is. I tell there are three cards and they vary between 2.9% and 6.9%. By then they usually figure out I am lying to them and the line goes dead. Another variation I use is to tell them I don't feel comfortable giving them my information over the phone to a cold call and they spend ten minutes explaining to me how they can't give me the info as it would be a violation of the Consumer Protection Act (?).

    I'm actually starting to enjoy the calls because I know I am helping the rest of the World by stalling these clowns for a few minutes each call. I was wondering if any of you could share some ideas of how else I could mess with them?

    Mark
    "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

    I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

  • #2
    Re: Telemarketers

    Thanks... I had a customer who put a recording of the sound you get when you call a disconnected line on his answering machine. So if a computer calls it registers as a bad number. He has to watch his caller id on each call though or plumber won't come out.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Telemarketers

      Some ideas from other websites

      1. If the telemarketer wants to loan you money, tell him/her you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

      2. If the telemarketer starts out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up,... my eyelashes are sore,... my dog just died,... my mother is in the hospital, ... my kid won't do his homework,... my spouse is cheating on me,... I'm going to lose my job... Which one do you want to talk about?"

      3. If the telemarketer says they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where the company is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, are they married?, kids?, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

      4. This works great if you are male:
      Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company..."
      You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

      5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my Gosh! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

      6. Say "No!", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

      7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"

      8. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

      9. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, and that they can't sell to employees or their families, and that you're going to report them to the company.

      10. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her HOME phone number so you can call him/her back. When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers don't give out their HOME numbers you say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me, either!"
      Hang up.

      11. Ask the telemarketer to repeat everything he/she says, several times.

      12. Tell the telemarketer it's dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

      13. Tell the telemarketer that you are on "home incarceration for attempted manslaughter" and ask if he/she could bring you some beer.

      14. Ask the telemarketer to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

      15. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously Leon, how's your momma?"

      16. Tell the telemarketer you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder... louder...

      17. Tell the telemarketer to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

      Number 17 can have as a reason to write everything down is to report them to the Do Not Call Registry and have their company slapped with a stiff fine.

      Number 10 is my favorite.

      Have fun

      Bill

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Telemarketers

        Ask Dunbar, he's an expert on this sort of thing.
        Water Heater Reviews & Water Heater Information

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Telemarketers

          Here is one of my favorites:

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY12cNe2xf0

          Mark
          "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

          I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Telemarketers

            Originally posted by ToUtahNow View Post
            Here is one of my favorites:

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY12cNe2xf0

            Mark
            Stop it!!!I peed my pants!!!Twice!!
            Teach your kids about taxes..........eat 30 percent of their ice cream.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Telemarketers

              OK NOW THAT was funny!!!!
              Help With Your Pool Or Spa Pump?►WeT HeaD Pump Repair ► Watch Me On YouTube: Pool & Spa Pump Repair TV
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              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Telemarketers

                Originally posted by Service Guy View Post
                Ask Dunbar, he's an expert on this sort of thing.



                Muwaahahaaahahaaaaaa!!!Sploogeman Enterprises Ltd. 2009 All Rights Reserved



                All ya gotta do,

                Is go to the "erotic" part of Craigslist and go under 4 different email addy's with their phone number looking for everything unnatural in the lines of sexuality.

                There's nothing more horrid than gay males calling you relentlessly wondering where they can meet and rub beards, and possibly other hairy things. Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!





                I know one lady who every friday has a yard sale, whether she likes it or not>
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                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Telemarketers

                  I ignore most out of state calls but when I get their junk mail I take out the postage-paid return envelope and tape it to a box of junk i.e. old catalogues and books, old plumbing parts, broken small appliances like toasters or radios, etc (never anything deemed hazardous).

                  They have to pay the postage. I think the last one I sent cost them $25.

                  Some envelopes do have track back codes so watch it.
                  "Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied." Mark Twain

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Telemarketers

                    When a salesperson calls my cell phone, I save the number under the name salesperson.

                    On my phone you can save up to 5 numbers under each name in the address book.

                    I started with salesperson, then salesperson1, then salesperson2, I'm currently on salesperson5.

                    When salesperson pops up on my caller id they get ignored.

                    Hear that Service Magic?

                    Lenny

                    Pronounced A-Bear Drain Care

                    I know, it doesn't make sense.


                    http://www.hebertdraincare.com

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Telemarketers

                      Originally posted by HebertDrainCare View Post
                      When a salesperson calls my cell phone, I save the number under the name salesperson.

                      On my phone you can save up to 5 numbers under each name in the address book.

                      I started with salesperson, then salesperson1, then salesperson2, I'm currently on salesperson5.

                      When salesperson pops up on my caller id they get ignored.

                      Hear that Service Magic?
                      I do much the same thing except I just save them as NO, and then NO NO, and so forth. I think I'm up to NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON
                      "Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied." Mark Twain

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Telemarketers

                        That was hilarious.

                        This telemarketer made the mistake of calling the Howard Stern show.

                        Foul language alert.

                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2vcAQTifI4

                        Lenny

                        Pronounced A-Bear Drain Care

                        I know, it doesn't make sense.


                        http://www.hebertdraincare.com

                        Comment

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