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  • Child Support

    MN. expects the male to pay 45% of their gross wages. So, lets say I make $1000.00 a week, now we minus $450.00 right off the bat, but uncle Sam will tax me on my gross wages, plus SS, medicare, we'll say around 28% for those.

    This comes to, $730.00 from the 2, which leaves me with $270.00, now minus your medical from your company $30.00 a week, now we're at $240.00. Not done yet, now we have to pay medical on the kids, which is a minimum of $100.00 a week for 3 kids (my half), Now we're down to $140.00 a week. Plus I have to pay for

    Car Insurance
    Gas
    Medicine
    Food
    Rent or Mortgage
    Clothing
    Etc
    Etc
    Etc

    Now, this is not an actual dollar figure in my case, but it is somewhat close. I would say that I'm totally screwed. The reason with it being 45% of my gross pay, is because of me being out there on the road and she will have 100% custody.

    Looks to me like I may be quitting my new job and going back into construction back home, and fight for 50% custody of my kids.

    I cannot possibly see how any man can survive with figures like that. I sure have a lot of thinking to do. Hell, maybe I can live off of food stamps and block cheese. Oh ya, she makes more than I do, right now, go figure, this is even before I have to give her child support. Oh and one more thing, she gets the house, half my tools, car, two trucks, all furnishings, half the bank accounts, my life insurance policies must all be in her name, she even gets the dog......

    I'm hosed.....

    So all you divorced men out there, who also has kids, "How in the hell did you survive this"?

    Now the lawyers, they make out decent.

    Oh ya, I have to give up a cost of living percentage every other year, so my child support will go up around another 5%, even if I don't get a raise....
    Last edited by garager; 06-17-2009, 10:51 AM.
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  • #2
    Re: Child Support

    I empathize with you wholeheartedly. Seen a friend get it even worse and EVERYTHING that brought the end of their marriage WAS done by her.

    There's always two sides I guess, but I knew both sides pretty well. And he got it worse.

    I've always thought that both parents should pay into an independent account the same % of their gross with any checks only available for what the kids need. Then, a 3 month review. If the children aren't requiring the total, then the % decreases.

    I've seen time after time that there is no accountability for child support and the receiving party ends up with a "better" lifestyle that has nothing to do with the children involved.

    In short, I feel your pain and would fix it if I could man.

    J.C.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Child Support

      Don't forget the % of you income is based on your yearly income not weekly. So lets say you miss 3 days of work due to illness, your still expected to pay the $450.

      I had a friend that was laid off. He ended up with an $18 unemployment check.

      The child support system is in need of radical change.
      I think 99% of men have no problem paying child support but it needs to be done in a fair way.

      I think one big step among many needed would be to base the figures on a % your weekly earnings. That way it would be just like in my home. If I have a good week the kids are more likely to get the things they need/want (new clothes, extra money for the movies, hair cut, etc). If I have a bad week they get food on the table and thats it.
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      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Child Support

        I feel for you and I always thought this whole alimony thing in the US is a scam. Even without kids, women often win support payments and I still don't understand why.

        I was divorced too but the rules in my home country were much closer to sanity. Plus the transfer rat and huge inflation at the time brought my obligations down to US$0.25/month (and that's rounded up to the nearest cent). I have a good heart though and the child is mine indeed, so I kept on sending $100 each month.
        In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Child Support

          I feel your pain but lets remember the ones who are the innocent victims of a divorce are the children. Don't let your feelings towards your wife hurt your relationship with your children.

          Mark
          "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

          I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Child Support

            Garager, very sorry you are faced with this painful and difficult situation. I am not advocating this but I know one guy who worked a lower paying job that was on the books and then worked another job that was not reported. I know legally it is not right but if it allows you to have some time with your children and still have some quality of life, it may be necessary. The scenario you gave is upsetting and as already mentioned, does not give you much wiggle room if you miss a payment. Marriage as an instituion is failed with more ending in divorce than those survivng, so I agree that there must be greater efforts made to make divorce more reasonable, fair, liveable. Please do your best to stay calm and healthy in the face of these difficult decisions and rulings. Your children will grow up and whatever payments are necessary will end. Hopefully you will have many good years with your children, so take care of yourself.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Child Support

              This is difficult! You want the kids to be taken care of and not become wards of the state or go on welfare, food stamps etc....
              On the other hand I think the courts get a one size fits all mentality. I definitely think that a straight 45% cut seems too high for most.
              There are a lot of men that work off the books and or go from job to job so they can get a full check until the garnishment paperwork catches up.

              Seems like a more reasonable amount would help to keep hard working respectable men from having to do crazy stuff.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Child Support

                Originally posted by garager View Post
                MN. expects the male to pay 45% of their gross wages. So, lets say I make $1000.00 a week, now we minus $450.00 right off the bat, but uncle Sam will tax me on my gross wages, plus SS, medicare, we'll say around 28% for those.

                This comes to, $730.00 from the 2, which leaves me with $270.00, now minus your medical from your company $30.00 a week, now we're at $240.00. Not done yet, now we have to pay medical on the kids, which is a minimum of $100.00 a week for 3 kids (my half), Now we're down to $140.00 a week. Plus I have to pay for

                Car Insurance
                Gas
                Medicine
                Food
                Rent or Mortgage
                Clothing
                Etc
                Etc
                Etc

                Now, this is not an actual dollar figure in my case, but it is somewhat close. I would say that I'm totally screwed. The reason with it being 45% of my gross pay, is because of me being out there on the road and she will have 100% custody.

                Looks to me like I may be quitting my new job and going back into construction back home, and fight for 50% custody of my kids.

                I cannot possibly see how any man can survive with figures like that. I sure have a lot of thinking to do. Hell, maybe I can live off of food stamps and block cheese. Oh ya, she makes more than I do, right now, go figure, this is even before I have to give her child support. Oh and one more thing, she gets the house, half my tools, car, two trucks, all furnishings, half the bank accounts, my life insurance policies must all be in her name, she even gets the dog......

                I'm hosed.....

                So all you divorced men out there, who also has kids, "How in the hell did you survive this"?

                Now the lawyers, they make out decent.

                Oh ya, I have to give up a cost of living percentage every other year, so my child support will go up around another 5%, even if I don't get a raise....
                Sir, this is why we have such things as "Prenuptial agreements". Think of it as writing out a will in the event of a divorce rather than death. The very act of going through a process can weed out potential "Rome is Burning!" relationships from from "Romantic" ones.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Child Support

                  Originally posted by tailgunner View Post
                  Sir, this is why we have such things as "Prenuptial agreements". Think of it as writing out a will in the event of a divorce rather than death. The very act of going through a process can weed out potential "Rome is Burning!" relationships from from "Romantic" ones.
                  Tailgunner, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but your comment would only be of use to someone contemplating marriage. Garager has been married several years and I'm sure he and his wife were in love for many of those years. I agree that a prenup is a good idea going forward and should be considered, but were are not talking about folks who are independantly weathly and can raise children "without" support. My wife and myself have been married over twenty six years, we have built our finances together and if we were to divorce neither would make a killing. I don't blame younger folks who are in love for either entering into prenups, or avoiding marriage all together. Sure a lot of husbands have taken a beating, but there are also a lot of Moms who were left high and dry with children to raise. This is not a cut and dry subject or a simple one to figure out or deal with, without a lot of pain and suffering.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Child Support

                    Originally posted by darius View Post

                    I was divorced too but the rules in my home country were much closer to sanity. Plus the transfer rat and huge inflation at the time brought my obligations down to US$0.25/month (and that's rounded up to the nearest cent). I have a good heart though and the child is mine indeed, so I kept on sending $100 each month.

                    Hopefully this was in the 1960's or 70's!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Child Support

                      Originally posted by ToUtahNow View Post
                      I feel your pain but lets remember the ones who are the innocent victims of a divorce are the children. Don't let your feelings towards your wife hurt your relationship with your children.

                      Mark

                      Double click the url below, embedded version won't play here


                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkqOf94mr-w


                      The traditional family, with exception of a few...have lost the true meaning of family.


                      I work for all types and the married seem to be the most unhappy.

                      Figure that out and who becomes the sounding board of that disappointment. (children)

                      What feels good today probably won't feel good 12 years from now, maybe 24...

                      2/3rds ends in divorce in just a 19 year span

                      of the remaining 1/3, 2/3rds struggle to make it 10 years.


                      Tell me why I'm wrong for being observant of this. It gauges my every move these days because I'm more calculated than that.

                      Prepare, prepare, prepare.

                      The generation that speaks of their years of duty? The traditional NOW values have drastically changed with men and women.

                      So don't expect the minority to have a voice when I work for so many that it's just plain evident that there's remorse/regret...disappointment.

                      Humans are slowly becoming unreliable in emotion, in the long term of relationships.

                      Blame it on the white man, he did it. He made the rules we are all governed by.
                      Last edited by DUNBAR PLUMBING; 06-17-2009, 05:50 PM.
                      Northern Kentucky Plumbers Twitter Feed | Plumbing Videos

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Child Support

                        Dunbar,

                        You need to keep better company. I would say the couples I know which are unhappy or divorced I could count on two hands. That is such a low percentage of the people I know it almost does not matter. I understand it is below the National standard but I can only speak to what I know.

                        Too many people get married for the wrong reason or are not responsible enough to make it work. The easy thing is always to walk away but the consequences are not always thought out. We are the only thing out there that can make an example of how the next generation will grow up. It is a daunting responsibility but awesome at the same time.

                        Mark
                        "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

                        I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Child Support

                          I can't control who calls me to do work, I can't control who tells me of "so-n-so" is getting divorced.


                          I can't control the statistics that exist of marriages. Of course; longstanding married couples stick together...but I did not make up that 40 year rule of how many never make that.

                          IF I choose to reenter the dating scene?


                          Divorced with kids, sometimes twice or 3 times divorced is the norm.


                          And they all have a good excuse? Always someone elses fault? I'll buy that.


                          I hope to be married someday...and it will happen, but I'm not going to ignore reality and think I'm special.

                          The Good Lord made divorce hell on earth because you broke the vows of marriage before God and his people. Punishment is the rule.


                          Thankfully I've done a good job of not doing the above.


                          I always compliment anyone married that's going the distance; the majority is not. In that equation is kids that will repeat that poor process and that is where it hurts the most.
                          Northern Kentucky Plumbers Twitter Feed | Plumbing Videos

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Child Support

                            Originally posted by DUNBAR View Post
                            I can't control who calls me to do work, I can't control who tells me of "so-n-so" is getting divorced.


                            I can't control the statistics that exist of marriages. Of course; longstanding married couples stick together...but I did not make up that 40 year rule of how many never make that.

                            IF I choose to reenter the dating scene?


                            Divorced with kids, sometimes twice or 3 times divorced is the norm.


                            And they all have a good excuse? Always someone elses fault? I'll buy that.


                            I hope to be married someday...and it will happen, but I'm not going to ignore reality and think I'm special.

                            The Good Lord made divorce hell on earth because you broke the vows of marriage before God and his people. Punishment is the rule.


                            Thankfully I've done a good job of not doing the above.


                            I always compliment anyone married that's going the distance; the majority is not. In that equation is kids that will repeat that poor process and that is where it hurts the most.
                            See that is where you are wrong, you have to be special to make a marriage work. So does your wife so you need to choose carefully and not just settle. I could not imagine being without my best friend and wife.

                            Mark
                            "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

                            I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Child Support

                              Originally posted by ToUtahNow View Post
                              See that is where you are wrong, you have to be special to make a marriage work. So does your wife so you need to choose carefully and not just settle. I could not imagine being without my best friend and wife.

                              Mark


                              I agree...but your experience is not playing out for 75% of marriages, and of the remaining 25% that are married, struggle to make it even 10 years in staying married.


                              One thing I've come to understand: Reality overrides optimism.


                              I can wish for your personal situation, but that doesn't mean it will happen. You come from a generation of true dedication to family, to sticking together, to being there for your children.


                              The dating scene today does not mimic the values you experienced back in the beginning of your marriage. You know that and so do I.


                              I'm a realist. I believe in what I see hear and know from my years on the earth watching what happens around me, and what I experience with my customers of all shapes/sizes and personalities.


                              I will not ignore what is ever so present in married today, divorced tomorrow thinking of so many.

                              I'm an optimist in this...but I'm not going to be foolish to think that so many divorces stacking up, didn't happen.


                              The 25% margin of marriages that is struggling to stay 25% doesn't equate to 100% of the reality that something is really wrong with the traditional family values.
                              Northern Kentucky Plumbers Twitter Feed | Plumbing Videos

                              Comment

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