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I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

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  • #16
    Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

    Hoo boy, how to put this. Folks, believe it or not, I haven't ignored any of the advice you all have given me. What I have been doing is reading up from a number of sources, and talking to a few people, random patrons, my coworkers, and including my parents. Sadly, all of it conflicts, but the two comments from my mom "Better to be alone than in a bad relationship" and biological father, whom mom divorced for good reason when I was little, replayed "You don't need some *****..." Both really cut me to the core, regardless of their intentions, especially knowing they were referring to eachother.

    So when I look around, I see all these couples in their mid to late twenties who are married and had kids already. So for me, when I was that age, life seemed have taken a "If you have time for women, you have time for work!" approach. Something reinforced by not only at home (The "Wait until you are thirty." speech), but at college, and kept busy from relationships by both work and military. Especially at work. I lost track of how many guys complain about their wives, calling them names that would make a sailor blush, about how he works too much, even go so far as end up getting divorced. Hell, both my employer and coworker lost their marriages due to such things.

    Well, at anyrate, it's back to work for me at home. Last weekend during the ANG UTA, I finally received my next training course as homework due in a couple months, all three books an inch and half thick, plus a laundry list of computer based courses that need to be completed prior to my unit's deployment to Afganistan. So it is no more going out for me for a while. At the very least it will give me a chance to "dry up" again, and take a load off my wallet.

    *Rolls up sleeves*
    Last edited by tailgunner; 04-18-2010, 09:15 PM.

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    • #17
      Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

      I find Rick's advice hysterical since we are sooooo opposite! I don't do any of the adventure stuff he does. But we met at a family function at a park. You will never meet that forever person in a bar!
      Last edited by ToUtahNow; 04-18-2010, 09:49 PM. Reason: ....because I can!
      I love my plumber

      "My Hero"

      Welcome, Phoebe Jacqueline!

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      • #18
        Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

        Originally posted by PLUMBER RICK View Post
        what i found years ago was you attract people that have similar interest.

        20 years ago i started traveling, mainly adventure travel. rafting, hiking, skiing. the people who also traveled had similar interest and over the years met many friends and a couple girl friends

        do what you enjoy. others will be attracted to those interest.

        rick.
        I can't help but ask, Joey is your polar opposite so where does your advice come in?

        tailgunner

        To be honest it gets harder and harder to meet someone once you start getting a little older. Prime meeting time is generally while you are still in school. If you have a Community College around you may want to consider taking a class or two at night. It seems the bar is a place you are more likely to find a one night stand than a mate to share you life with.

        Mark
        "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

        I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

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        • #19
          Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

          Originally posted by ToUtahNow View Post
          I can't help but ask, Joey is your polar opposite so where does your advice come in?



          Mark
          Originally posted by PLUMBER RICK View Post
          what i found years ago was you attract people that have similar interest.

          20 years ago i started traveling, mainly adventure travel. rafting, hiking, skiing. the people who also traveled had similar interest and over the years met many friends and a couple girl friends

          do what you enjoy. others will be attracted to those interest.

          rick.
          she said she would allow me to keep doing the adventure stuff

          i think she is having second thouhts about that now

          remember she is the one that told me to poop or get off the pot.

          little did she know years later she was getting a bidet

          you know the rest of the story

          rick.
          phoebe it is

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          • #20
            Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

            Originally posted by PLUMBER RICK View Post
            she said she would allow me to keep doing the adventure stuff

            i think she is having second thouhts about that now

            remember she is the one that told me to poop or get off the pot.

            little did she know years later she was getting a bidet

            you know the rest of the story

            rick.
            Of course my point was you met the love of your life at a family gathering and not on a zip line in Costa Rica. Love happens, we don't make it happen. The important thing is to make sure you are looking in the right location when love finds you.

            Mark
            "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

            I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

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            • #21
              Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

              Originally posted by ToUtahNow View Post
              To be honest it gets harder and harder to meet someone once you start getting a little older. Prime meeting time is generally while you are still in school. If you have a Community College around you may want to consider taking a class or two at night. It seems the bar is a place you are more likely to find a one night stand than a mate to share you life with.
              I think this is pretty good advice. Just make sure you take classes with the right male/female ratio. Engineering type stuff is way too slanted towards men. In the class of about 700 CS students in my first semester, there were probably about 40 girls (I did end married to one of them though).

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              • #22
                Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                I have just a few more thoughts I wanted to get out then I'll shut up. Marriage is rarely what couples expect when they are caught up in passion. They don't project all the rocks in the road, changes in the relationship due to children, financial responsibilities, illnesses, age and so much more. When people talk about marriage their comments reflect where they are at a particular time. The newlyweds most likely are hopeful about the wonderful things ahead, they're all stary eyed and in love. The folks married fifteen years or so with children are in a whole other place, dealing with children while trying to remain friends and lovers. So it goes, constantly changing, sometimes real slow and sometimes suddenly. The stresses of financial problems and health, sometimes are too much for a marriage to survive. People who were once lovers become enemies and once that happens the bad words, bad thoughts and sometimes bad behavior ensue.

                We can either ask folks what it's like to be married and raise a family, let their answer be our guide, or, we can try for ourselves and make up our own mind. Sure there are plenty of marriages that end in divorce, but when those folks are talking trash about their ex, I would point out that there was a time they were very much in love. Bottom line for me is to be my own person and live my own life, making my own mistakes along the way.

                Try and be a decent man, be kind and caring, and take stock of your actions. If you're lucky, you can share your life with a good woman and put at least one more decent person on this earth. just like your parents did!

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                • #23
                  Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                  Originally posted by ToUtahNow View Post
                  I can't help but ask, Joey is your polar opposite so where does your advice come in?

                  tailgunner

                  To be honest it gets harder and harder to meet someone once you start getting a little older. Prime meeting time is generally while you are still in school. If you have a Community College around you may want to consider taking a class or two at night. It seems the bar is a place you are more likely to find a one night stand than a mate to share you life with.

                  Mark
                  Well, I must have been among the few that went to a technical community college to get an education and an Associates. At the time from 1999-2002 (Had to repeat a semester) the economy was at it's height, so generally more people were working, rather than in school, thus my classes remained rather small, and for many of those classes, they were 100% male, combined with homework, working 30+ hours a week, drill weekends, and correspondance courses assigned to me as well by the military, plus my summer deployments of annual training for twoo weeks, so I was kept pretty busy. Then soon after graduating, the economy nose dived, plus I was whisked off to war and placed on orders for nine months. Afterwards, I signed on as a registered apprentice, and attended NEC classes at night after work for the last five years. Plus, I have been trying to keep one foot in the classroom, such as of November of last year, I completed a course for PV systems design and installations, and earned a NABCEP certificate (Entry level of course). But, once again, being a night class, it was 100% male.


                  For the last twelve years, my time has been documented and accounted for. I have every order I was assigned, every receipt for education paid for, a diploma, and a license to back it all up, and a couple DD214's for good measure. So nowadays, I have been forced to ask myself, "This is the reward I get for my efforts? To be given more work to do?"

                  At this point, inspite of how late it is, I really have to get back to my courses, and complete one more chapter before turning in.
                  Heh, I been playing Felix Mendelssohn : The Hebrides "Die Hebriden" (Fingal's Cave) - Overture off of youtube among other pieces as I do my bookwork, and type this in between breaks.

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                  • #24
                    Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                    John Wayne " If You're all alone and lonesome, You're in poor company "
                    I can build anything You want , if you draw a picture of it , on the back of a big enough check .

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                    • #25
                      Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                      dont sweat the small stuff. drink a few talk plumbing or whatever is going on it will come to you.

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                      • #26
                        Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                        Originally posted by MrsSeatDown View Post
                        I find Rick's advice hysterical since we are sooooo opposite! I don't do any of the adventure stuff he does. But we met at a family function at a park. You will never meet that forever person in a bar!
                        I think this is funny because I did just that. I think Bill Maher's philoshpy on love is best "first you fall in lust then you fall in love". No real advice from myself other then just be yourself, forget the dumb pickup lines and be honest from the start.
                        Buy cheap, buy twice.

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                        • #27
                          Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                          I'm you a decade or so further along. 42, no woman, no prospects except ex's who'd have me back but I'm done with. Bar scene 20 somethings? Doesn't even cross their minds; it's like I'm a different species. 50 something divorcees with kids in college looking to party are depressingly everywhere I turn. All the 30-40 yr olds are not divorced yet.

                          My plan? Not unlike the sewing class, but skewed a little...

                          I start yoga this week .
                          This is my reminder to myself that no good will ever come from discussing politics or religion with anyone, ever.

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                          • #28
                            Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                            Have you tried Craigslist? J/k. But I wouldn't be afraid to try online websites. People use them because they're in your same situation where they want to meet someone but don't want to go to the bars. It's working for my Uncle who is in his late 40's. He's met a lot of women on match.com.

                            Or you could get a part time job at the local burger joint with all the hot young 18 year olds who haven't seen their dad in decades....

                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wE3Ec...eature=related

                            OR - get a job with the cable company as a contractor and do installs around the time the college kids come back to town. I guarantee you will meet someone . I'm sure they're hiring because cable contracting companies go through employees like mr ripoff rooter

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