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  • I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

    ...And have been rather negative *cough*forthelastfourmonths*cough*cough* and I do apologise profusely, however, please keep in mind that such anger isn't out of lack of effort, but out of being denied any fruits of my labor to improve my status in life.

    Part of it, well most of it, seems to stem of having a hard time interpreting my surroundings, rather than being aware of said environments. Case in point: At a local sport bar, one that is near a college mind you, right behind me there was a table where three people sat. Looked around mid-20's yet, there was only two women (Whom looked awfully similar to eachother, so I assumed they were sisters) and one guy that sat next to one of them. After a few rounds of liquid courage, I was tempted to march up to the one woman that was by herself and ask if she would like some company, especially since her and I did exchange a couple words about the Red Sox game tonight from accross the isile.

    At this point, yes people, I am asking you, the fine folks of Ridgid Forums, for dating advice, since the best I was offered was from my mother, "I know it hurts, but it's better to be alone than in a bad relationship" plus from my father (Whom my mother divorced twenty-five years ago), "You don't need some ***** from a casino or bar!" While the time has past and gone, should I have said to myself, "To hell with it and introduce myself"? Thus turn myself once again into "THAT guy" that ruins it for others?

    Folks, what I don't regret are the things I do, but the reprocussions that happen behind my back without my knowing until it is too late. Case in point, last thursday, I met a 45 year old cabinet maker that was rather imbibed, and flirting with every person with a dual X chromosone, including one of the bartenders. Now this woman (A beautiful one that that), would respond with a smile, "I love my boyfriend!" to this person's advances. Now I, a regular, would take more gentleman's approch with constant pleases and thank you's. He then responds with "You are WAY to nice to these girls, no wonder you're still single! These girls want someone mean!". After some time passes, he then leaves, and I too would finish up. the next night, I roll in at my usual time, and apologise for whatever dumb comments I made that night, however she replys that I was fine, but couldn't stand that person I was with and wishes he would leave her alone! (Even though he constantly complimented her on how hot she was.) This is where forced to ask myself, "My God, what would these women say behind MY back if acted this way?"

    Good people, I am not trying to be negative, angry, frusterated, or even pessimistic here. Believe it or not, at the age of thirty-one, I really quite new to the whole dating scene, since I never did date or have a significant other during my teenage years, ever, but instead plowed through my schoolwork, had a job, enlist and serve in the military, plus focus on college, then my license. So when I do post on here in anger or negativity, it is most likely because of a failure on my part, in spite of various books I have read, ot even online dating adice that never seems to work, on top of "just being myself".

    If it is any help for to understand, the things I have read are:
    "Peacock Theory"
    "Ladder Theory"
    "Maximized Manhood" (Which i posted about recently)
    And
    "The Game", by a Neil Strauss, a self proclaimed Pick-Up Artist

    Still, when you great people post things involving marriages of 30+ years, and some bearing children out of a successful marriage, I can't help myself but be envious, even of your problems that you people endure because of such things, that lead me to sadly, and often pathetically, vent my own frustrations through this medium.
    Last edited by tailgunner; 04-17-2010, 11:08 PM.

  • #2
    Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

    First, you need to relax. If you see a woman that strikes your fancy, just be open and honest with her. Remain grounded, centered and real.

    Forget the pickup line, the smooth moves, the clever, witty things. Just be yourself. And relax.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

      My comments are meant to be helpful, not Hurtful. Do You realize many of Your threads revolve around happenings in a bar ? I quit booze around 26 Years ago Myself. Never went to AA. Just quit. My life has improved! On Woman ! They find You, when You're not looking.
      A guy living a good life is attractive to a GOOD woman. Be Well. DAD
      I can build anything You want , if you draw a picture of it , on the back of a big enough check .

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

        Originally posted by toolaholic View Post
        My comments are meant to be helpful, not Hurtful. Do You realize many of Your threads revolve around happenings in a bar ? I quit booze around 26 Years ago Myself. Never went to AA. Just quit. My life has improved! On Woman ! They find You, when You're not looking.
        A guy living a good life is attractive to a GOOD woman. Be Well. DAD

        I'll never find anyone if all I do is sit at home after work. That much I know for certain. What else can I do but go where people congregate?

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

          what i found years ago was you attract people that have similar interest.

          20 years ago i started traveling, mainly adventure travel. rafting, hiking, skiing. the people who also traveled had similar interest and over the years met many friends and a couple girl friends

          do what you enjoy. others will be attracted to those interest.

          rick.
          phoebe it is

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

            My wife is a Sewaholic! I built her a sewing room in our home. I take an interest in Her
            hobby. I go to Fabric stores with Her once in a while. I'm The only Guy that does this with his wife.I notice the looks from some fine young Ladys. Probably wanting a Man that supports a mate. Now I've said this to a lot of Young Guys. Want a good Gal that isn't hanging out in a bar going no where? Take a sewing class at Joanns fabrics.You very well may be the only Guy with all these Young Gals. HUMOR ME Next Sat. Go into any large fabric
            store and start looking at cottons. You'll feel the heat from some nice gals. P.S. NO
            I'M THE FARTHEST THING FROM GAY THERE IS!
            I can build anything You want , if you draw a picture of it , on the back of a big enough check .

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

              I have to agree with Toolaholic. My wife is big into quilting. She also has a computerized long arm quilting machine and actually makes some money quilting for customers. I used to feel strange going to fabric stores but it doesn't bother me any more. I've even started helping her pick out fabrics. It pays off in the long run.
              When seconds count, the police are only minutes away.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                Originally posted by DSurette View Post
                I have to agree with Toolaholic. My wife is big into quilting. She also has a computerized long arm quilting machine and actually makes some money quilting for customers. I used to feel strange going to fabric stores but it doesn't bother me any more. I've even started helping her pick out fabrics. It pays off in the long run.
                We may have a little more in common. I was welding I beams at the Lawrence Livermore Lab. around 20 some years ago. I was welding in the Implosion room. I was a pile buck.
                Room was 58' deep and huge. 2 nd largest Tie back project in the world! My work was to keep the hole from collapsing !
                I can build anything You want , if you draw a picture of it , on the back of a big enough check .

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                  Tailgunner, you seem to completely ignore my advice and posts but here's my two cents anyway. People congregate in plenty of places other than bars, clubs and places where "liquid" nerve is served.

                  Stop the dam drinking as a way to relax, unwind and meet women, if that;s really what you are trying to do. Before you can be good a a partner in a relationship and marriage, you need to be okay with yourself. That means spend some time in counceling, come to grips with your childhood and everything else that's eating at you.

                  Did you ever see the movie "GroundHog Day"? There's a lot to learn from it, everyday of life is another chance to improve who you are and how others see you. You are young, in good health, strong, smart, with a solid profession, don't fall off the planet after work by sitting on a bar stool frying your brain and liver. Get out in the world and try new things, a yoga or dance class, join a gym and meet healthy women.

                  Yes, life can stink, parents screw up and children grow into adults with all sorts of issues. Break the pattern and live the best life you can, the great life you deserve. Why can't you be a great husband and father? You can, but you have to get the heck out of the bar/club and build a different life.

                  I met my wife on vacation at a club med, she was the second woman I ever dated! I was never afraid to love or commit to marriage, maybe too stupid to know any better, or too smart to waste another minute of my life alone. If you were happy with your life, I'd say fine and shut my mouth, but you are not happy. You know there is more to be had, you just need to connect the dots.

                  Please don't look for friendship, love or good advice on life in the same place. You want different results and a better life? Make a change, now, today and don't look back.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                    Tailgunner, Rick gave solid advice. A wonderful saying that fits hand in hand with what Rick stated is if you want to fly with the eagles don’t run with the dogs. Be yourself; start facing the fear of rejection. The more you face it the less it affects you.

                    Where to meet people
                    Social events .The first Friday of the month a local community shuts down Main Street and puts on music on Main Street. Many places have dance halls it may sound silly however learn to do ballroom dancing.
                    Church social functions
                    Find raisers especially for underprivileged kids, physically and mentally challenged events. There are many really nice people at these events.

                    On the lighter side watch Wedding crashers.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                      Originally posted by rich34232 View Post
                      Tailgunner, Rick gave solid advice. A wonderful saying that fits hand in hand with what Rick stated is if you want to fly with the eagles don’t run with the dogs. Be yourself; start facing the fear of rejection. The more you face it the less it affects you.

                      Where to meet people
                      Social events .The first Friday of the month a local community shuts down Main Street and puts on music on Main Street. Many places have dance halls it may sound silly however learn to do ballroom dancing.
                      Church social functions
                      Find raisers especially for underprivileged kids, physically and mentally challenged events. There are many really nice people at these events.

                      On the lighter side watch Wedding crashers.
                      My father always tells me "Go to church and meet yourself a nice girl".
                      Ron Hasil Lic #058-160417
                      A-Archer Sewer & Plumbing specializing in:
                      Tankless Water Heaters | Drain and Sewer Cleaning
                      Sump and Ejector Pumps | Backflow RPZ Testing

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                        Originally posted by toolaholic View Post
                        My comments are meant to be helpful, not Hurtful. Do You realize many of Your threads revolve around happenings in a bar ? I quit booze around 26 Years ago Myself. Never went to AA. Just quit. My life has improved! On Woman ! They find You, when You're not looking.
                        A guy living a good life is attractive to a GOOD woman. Be Well. DAD
                        My first boss gave me some good advice, "Chicks don't dig the drunk guy."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                          Originally posted by cpw View Post
                          My first boss gave me some good advice, "Chicks don't dig the drunk guy."
                          Truth is the drunk guy doesn't like the drunk guy! Tailgunner is not a happy guy, and it goes beyond looking for girls in all the wrong places. He does not need dating advice, I think he needs life advice.

                          I have a feeling after reading many of Tailgunner's posts that he is a good person, but he needs to change some things in order to better enjoy life. I complain about marriage and other things that bother me, but after so many years together that's normal. What's not normal, or healthy is to be so frustrated and down, when you have so much going for you. I respect Tailgunner for all he has accomplished and I don't want to upset or insult him, but I think he needs to give this some serious thought.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                            Also, tough dating with No car or drivers license !
                            I can build anything You want , if you draw a picture of it , on the back of a big enough check .

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: I know I have been rather frusterated as of late...

                              Tailgunner,You have received very good advice so far on this forum.I will say find something you like to do and do it,and as Rick said you will attract others of similar tastes.
                              Also be open to all women,the type you think you don't like may be the one for you.
                              I believe from the way you post,you will be O.K.

                              Comment

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