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The Man I Never Knew

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  • The Man I Never Knew

    When I moved into my house twenty years ago, I was not greeted with warmth and kindness from my neighbors. I was the first "blue collar" worker to own a home in this neighborhood and the locals never gave me a chance.
    Several months after moving in my wife became pregnant with a daughter we eventually lost to a genetic illness. Early on in her pregnancy she went to the post office to pickup a registered letter. The letter was a rather nasty list of insults which accused me of cheapening the neighborhood and impeding snow removal because I parked a car along side my property and not in my driveway. The letter was started by a man who developed the surrounding properties and signed by several homeowners.
    This man and I eventually met face to face and he apologized for not talking to me prior to the letter campaign. I thought we made peace, but when I removed several trees from my property he wrote a very insulting letter which appeared in our local newspaper. I responded with my own letter and we never spoke again in all these years.

    Last night his wife with whom I also have never spoken , approached me in the street and told me her husband had died. I offered my condolences and gave her a hug. She said she was sorry for all the years of bad feelings, she said he was stubborn and held a grudge. I told her it was in the past and said we should be cordial. We talked a bit more and although it felt good to make peace with her, I am still bothered that I could not be friendly with this man my neighbor.

    Today I read his obituary, and he was a remarkable guy. He served in WWII, was present when the flag was raised on Mt. Suribachi, he had worked in advertising, real estate and other jobs and never retired.

    I wish I could turn back time. I would have made a whole hearted effort to reach out and have him know me, make peace, have a better understanding.
    Maybe he was stubborn, maybe he would never accept me as a friend or good neighbor, but now I'll never know!

    All those years I felt in the right, but now I just feel regret. RIP neighbor.
    Last edited by Frankiarmz; 07-14-2010, 05:28 PM.

  • #2
    Re: The Man I Never Knew

    Frankie, I'm sorry you feel that way. Some guys just never want to let go, and that's what is really sad. It is sad that you never got the chance to make him hear you. Chances are he never would've let go of his prejudice against you. Take comfort in the knowledge that you never held a grudge against him. Sometimes you just gotta "C'est la vie" or in this case....perhaps c'est la mort.
    I put it all back together better than before. There\'s lots of leftover parts.


    • #3
      Re: The Man I Never Knew

      Baaa don't let it bother you in the least. He wanted to control your private property that aggrevates me. I've know use for this sort of person.


      • #4
        Re: The Man I Never Knew

        Originally posted by saysflushable View Post
        baaa don't let it bother you in the least. He wanted to control your private property that aggrevates me. I've know use for this sort of person.



        • #5
          Re: The Man I Never Knew

          Sir, you would never have been able to "make peace" with this person, even if given the chance. Inspite of his "history", even those washing uniforms on board carriers during WWII were given veteren status, he had it in his head he was better than you. Instead of you blaming yourself, run this through your head: Throughout the entire time, HE could have reached out to YOU, since HE was the one whom not only had issues with your livelyhood, but actively ran smear campaigns against your person. Rather than man himself up and approach you directly, he instead threw little *****fits and gossiped behind your back like an old hag. Bleh, had the balls to face the Japanese in war, but not his next door neighbor?

          Do him a favor, piss on his grave. It will keep the grubs away.
          Last edited by tailgunner; 07-14-2010, 08:52 PM.


          • #6
            Re: The Man I Never Knew

            Folks, thanks for your words of support. Twenty years ago I felt so sure about right and wrong, but now I don't know? Yes, he acted as if he owned my property too, but there must have been something more, something good driving him. Sure, he could have been a bully as some told me years ago but my problem is that I didn't push enough. When we did meet and he apologized he seemed to think I was going to assault him. I don't think I gave that impression and it was also kind of insulting that he would act that way.
            I'll try and let it go, he's gone and I can't change the past. I hate having regrets, it makes me mad at myself!