Well it's couple of days off yet but here's my version of the poem.
Twas the night before Christmas and all round the house
The stench was horrendous and it wasn’t a mouse.
The toilets were plugged, the drains wouldn’t drain,
The sinks were stopped up, oh man what a pain.
The children were sticky and the dogs were muddy too
And all we have here is a shower full of poo
Mamma and her mother were ticked off at me
A house full of guests and no place to pee.
Out on the lawn was a big stinky puddle
It was black and nasty and had started to bubble.
The poo and the paper in the new fallen snow
Told me the septic tank had failed below.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Santa in a pumper truck to save my fat rear.
He stirred and he pumped, and cleaned the drain with a snake.
And when he was done, he said “For heaven sake.
Don’t wait until you have a house full of poo,
Next time call Clinkscales to take care of you.”
I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”