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  • I'm A Mean Dad!

    My daughters are age 23 and 17, and I have some advice for you Dads with young children. When our children are little we tend to think things will get easier as they get big, but things just get more complicated. I have always done my best to be a reasonable father, and it hasn't been easy. You can do nine good things for your children, but say no once and you're a bad guy.

    Two years ago about half a mile from my house a seventeen year old girl was killed when she lost control of her SUV and hit a wall. She was not wearing a seatbelt. Her parents built a shrine at the spot where she died and have started a campaign in her name urging drivers to buckle up.

    I think most parents are too permissive, too weak, afraid to stand their ground and take the hard road when raising their children. You may not want to argue with your children, or be disliked, but if that's what it takes to keep them alive, healthy and on the right track, then please make the effort.

    Changing diapers and keeping the little ones safe from choking, or other hazards is a day at the beach compared to the challenges that await you as they grow up. Good luck Dads.

  • #2
    Re: I'm A Mean Dad!

    I was always the disciplinarian and Brenda was the "understanding" one. One of the plumbers who use to work for me lost his daughter at 17 when she was drinking at a party. Her blood alcohol was just under .3.

    Mark
    Last edited by ToUtahNow; 04-18-2011, 02:41 AM.
    "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

    I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

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    • #3
      Re: I'm A Mean Dad!

      Mark, that's usually the way it is Dads are the bad guys and moms are the sweethearts. I'm sure if I live long enough my relationship with my daughters will change. Right now I'm more concerned with doing what's right than being most popular dad. Tonight my seventeen year old was going to sleep over a friends house. I was getting ready for bed and asked my wife if she thought our daughter was where she said she would be and she said I trust her! With that, I got dressed and went out on a recon mission. Sure enough her car was not at her friend's house which prompted seveal calls to my daughter and my wife (the trusting one). She came home and we had a good talk. You can't look the other way and expect everything to be fine. Parenting takes effort, it is a tremendous responsibility.

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      • #4
        Re: I'm A Mean Dad!

        I was raised with an iron fist, and fully understand today why my father and mother did it. I dread the day when I have kids and have to experience some of these things.

        I would of got in the car as well, and checked up on her.

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        • #5
          Re: I'm A Mean Dad!

          Children learn more by example.

          Since the late 50's I have been a firm believer in automobile seat belts. My car did not move until everyone in the car had their belt firmly fastened. My two daughters grew up with the habit and continued the practice.

          All of my grandchildren would not think of not fastening their belts when in a vehicle. (They have complained that the school buses do not have belts).

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          • #6
            Re: I'm A Mean Dad!

            You prolly ruined some teenage boys night too

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            • #7
              Re: I'm A Mean Dad!

              Originally posted by TheMaster View Post
              You prolly ruined some teenage boys night too
              A few years back my older daughter was going on a first date with some guy she met at work. I just happened to be working on one of my chainsaws when he pulled into the driveway. There was no second date. I'm really very friendly, if a guy has good intentions he has nothing to worry about.

              A lot of folks think they can make their point soley by using reason. I do that, but still think a little fear helps. Too much disrespect within families and in society, and we pay for that with accidents, violence and addictions that might otherwise be prevented.

              Things would have been so much easier for me and clearer to my daughters if only my wife went along with me rather than undermined my authority. That division in front of the kids is confusing to them and upsetting. No offense but women are a different breed altogether.

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              • #8
                Re: I'm A Mean Dad!

                I think one of the hardest things is the transition for kids and parents is from kids to adults,

                and it is easy when there decisions align with yours, and it is really difficult with they don't,

                when there young they will do it because or go along with it because your the parent, (your bigger then them),

                you teach by example,
                you teach by explanation,
                you attempt to convince by pleading at times.

                and at some time in there life and yours, you hope enough has been taught, imprinted, implanted, and retained and became there own to function as adults that you admire,

                the problem is they are there own person, and have to make there own decisions and live there own lives, in time,

                and the teen years are a struggle on both the teens and the parents, as this transition takes place,

                you do your best as a parent, (remember they did not come with a instruction manual), and try to teach and give them the tools they will need to live successful lives, but many times it ends up in the hands of GOD, and a parent has to spend many hours on there knees, and entrusting there lives in his hands,

                and when they move into adult hood the worry never stops the concern for there welfare near stops, the things that effect there emotional state never stops,
                you remain a parent as long as you live, (you LOVE them unconditionally), and hope and pray the best for them,

                but just like when there little they still fall and skin there knee, and some times the hurt that occurs is so much deeper than a flesh wound,
                ~~~~~~~~~~
                the number of times my son tested his guardian angles out, (I bet GOD pined medals Honor on them for going beyond the call of duty) one time my son fell asleep driving and his car hit the end of a bridge railing it ended up acting like a ping pong ball bouncing between guard rails tearing the drivers front fender and wheel of the car off, and he some how walked away from it) and that was only one of the protections he was awarded, there are numerous others, like the time a bull stomp his chest over his heart, and another time a bulls foot nearly stomped his neck, one half of his neck was bruised by the hoof as it slid down to the ground,
                and there were number of other things when he was younger.

                my daughters seems to be easer
                ~~~~~~~~~~
                all I can say is use your best parenting skills and spend many hours for them on your knees in prayer, as the truth is it is in Gods hands, you here for a guide to them and given them for a time and then there on there own,

                and in parenting about the time you think you have it some what figured out, they change the rules on you,

                and now as a grand parent, it starts all over again, (you may not be the front line but I think your job is still just as importation),
                Push sticks/blocks Save Fingers
                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."
                attributed to Samuel Johnson
                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                PUBLIC NOTICE: Due to recent budget cuts, the rising cost of electricity, gas, and oil...plus the current state of the economy............the light at the end of the tunnel, has been turned off.

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                • #9
                  Re: I'm A Mean Dad!

                  You can always buy kids off Ebay, and when they start to get uncontrollable, one can always sell the parts!

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                  • #10
                    Re: I'm A Mean Dad!

                    Well, I was gonna have a bedtime snack and watch some TV.

                    Then I got the "Fatherly Frankie" vibe off his post and now I'm going to bed early with no snack and no TV.

                    Folks, that's the power of Frankie. He don't need those arms. If it comes to a point when the arms gotta come out then.....well......
                    I'm on "The List" and I love it!!

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                    • #11
                      Re: I'm A Mean Dad!

                      Originally posted by tinmack View Post
                      Well, I was gonna have a bedtime snack and watch some TV.

                      Then I got the "Fatherly Frankie" vibe off his post and now I'm going to bed early with no snack and no TV.

                      Folks, that's the power of Frankie. He don't need those arms. If it comes to a point when the arms gotta come out then.....well......
                      Mack, I'm all show and no go. Please, don't go to bed hungry. So, what's good for snack'in?

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                      • #12
                        Re: I'm A Mean Dad!

                        My daughter is 17, soon to be 18. She brought home graduation invitations today. I damn near cried. I'm damn lucky as she has a good head on her shoulders. She tests my paitence at times but that's to be expected. I remember being "smarter" than my parents.

                        She and I share a lot of interests, so we still do things together. She got into photography recently. Now it seems as though I'll be buying a camera soon. She wants to take photography classes with me.

                        Her mom and I have had lots of arguments on how things should be done but the end results speak for themselves.

                        As far as having the gun out cleaning it when the boy comes to pick her up, I won't have to. She has her own guns and knows how to use them. I hope she has the guts the use them if she has to. I'm pretty certain she will, but still I worry.

                        Good luck Frank. I know you are on the right track. Keep it up!
                        www.ClinkscalesSeptic.com

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                        • #13
                          Re: I'm A Mean Dad!

                          [QUOTE=Changing diapers and keeping the little ones safe from choking, or other hazards is a day at the beach compared to the challenges that await you as they grow up. Good luck Dads.[/QUOTE]


                          Thanks for the the wonderful thoughts of the things I get to look forward too.....

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                          • #14
                            Re: I'm A Mean Dad!

                            Originally posted by DanLawrence View Post
                            Thanks for the the wonderful thoughts of the things I get to look forward too.....
                            Dan, don't take my comments the wrong way. Yes, the challenges of parenting grow as our children grow, but we also grow as parents. You learn to think things through, see things from their perspective and use a combination of skills to communicate. Luckily they don't go from being two years old to sixteen overnight, so every day prepares us for the next. Bottom line, seriously, enjoy every diaper change and bottle feeding, kiss every bump and bruise, and put to rest all the monsters hiding under the bed or in the closet.

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                            • #15
                              Re: I'm A Mean Dad!

                              Originally posted by DanLawrence View Post
                              Thanks for the the wonderful thoughts of the things I get to look forward too.....
                              Keep in mind, not everyone here is blessed with the opportunities to have such problems to deal with in the first place.

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