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  • My apologies for my recent behavior.

    Apparently I posted something offensive last night. I have no recollection of doing so. I am finding myself forced to consider my use of alcohol lately. I have never had a blackout until recently. Last night was my second. I honestly have no recollection of anything that happened after about 8:00 last night.

    My gf informs me she was over visiting and found me half-naked rooting around in the van looking for my phone when she arrived. I was quite drunk. Apparently it took me about 20 minutes to relate a story about something not too complicated that happened during the day, mostly because it took me that long to assemble the words. I have no recollection of her visit.

    I have no recollection of posting or of what I posted. I'm told it garnered multiple complaints. It's since been removed and I have no record of it. I'm embarrassed enough that I don't really want to know.

    My apologies for my behavior.

    I'm sorry for any offense.

    I think I might just have to quit drinking altogether. It seems to be like the cigarettes for me; can't have just one.
    This is my reminder to myself that no good will ever come from discussing politics or religion with anyone, ever.

  • #2
    Re: My apologies for my recent behavior.

    O I see we are missing the thread with those colourful words what a shame its amazing how our true feelings come out when we are inebriated just look at Mel Gibson and many others its so refreshing and amusing and once out can never be taken back thank God that I cannot see my computer let only start it when I have had to many as we have all been in that situation

    Tony

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: My apologies for my recent behavior.

      Never saw the comments, but we all have our bad days.

      In the end you're human just like the rest of us. It takes a "true" man to admit when he's wrong so...you have my respect.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: My apologies for my recent behavior.

        I for one think it takes a big man to see his mistakes and a bigger one to apologize. Regarding the content, you said what was probably on your mind and plenty of other folks as well. We are entitled to our thoughts, and being human our errs. If we all spoke our minds when under the influence there would be no room here or anywhere else for the necessary apologies. Hope you can get a handle on your problem so you can enjoy a long and healthy life. Frank

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: My apologies for my recent behavior.

          I did a the same thing when i began on this forum accusing people of not trying to help a new plumber i to was embarresed and you all forgave me quickly shiit happens especially round a bunch of plumbers dont stress it .... No one on here would hold a grudge "especially if its not here to read" we all have said something we didnt mean to especially when drinkking....cheers seanny

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: My apologies for my recent behavior.

            Ace, You've been around long enough for this old Irishman to size You Up. You are a rock solid Man ! This is My 28 th Year of sobriety.
            " Alcohol, a thousand laughs,a million tears " You'll figure it out,don't be too hard on Yourself! Tool
            I can build anything You want , if you draw a picture of it , on the back of a big enough check .

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: My apologies for my recent behavior.

              alex, i've had the pleasure to meet you 2 times and speak to you countless times. i know you'll get over this and move on. take up milk shakes and i've got the first round

              now since i totally missed what happened, i'll have to wonder if it was a visual or a statement. lets just hope it wasn't a fluidmaster moment

              rick.
              phoebe it is

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: My apologies for my recent behavior.

                Originally posted by Flux View Post
                Never saw the comments, but we all have our bad days.

                In the end you're human just like the rest of us. It takes a "true" man to admit when he's wrong so...you have my respect.
                ACE, nowyou know you have a problem take responsibility and deal with it. We all go through hard times but always remember that this life is for real, its not a dress rehearsal. I too enjoy a sip but know when you have had enough. Might be a good time to do a quick detox and get yourself back together

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: My apologies for my recent behavior.

                  Alex your a good man so dont let drinking take you down
                  My dad was a good man but he loved to drink and it was like night and day he was nice when he did not drink and you did not want to be around him when he did .
                  Because of his drinking he lost his friends and family and thats why i dont drink
                  so hang in there
                  Charlie

                  My seek the peek fundraiser page
                  http://observatory.mountwashington.o...nal&fr_id=1040


                  http://www.mountwashington.org/weather/conditions.php

                  new work pictures 12/09
                  http://public.fotki.com/hvachawk/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: My apologies for my recent behavior.

                    Dude.
                    When you have a "Holy Crap WTF" moment, listen to it. LET it bother you... it's trying to tell you something.
                    My "moment" came in 1981, and it wasn't alcohol. I beat the monkey, you can too.
                    "HONK if you've never seen a gun fired from a moving Harley"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: My apologies for my recent behavior.

                      Thank you, all.

                      I don't really have any recollection of any of it. Apparently I save my nastiness for my on-line friends when drunk; the gf says I was a happy and flattering drunk. Apparently I told her I thought she was easily twice as beautiful as usual since there were at least two of her in front of me. She tells me it is interesting to be around me when I am that drunk as my thoughts slow down enough and are all vocalized so she can follow how I've moved from one thing to another to another.

                      While it is nice to hear from one direction that I am a pleasant drunk, I certainly seem to have embarrassed myself here. Regardless of how I might be perceived by those around me, it is a frightening thing to have literally no memory of what took place as I moved and acted in the world.

                      I'm sure those of you with experience as alcoholics will recognize where I am at when I say I intend to slow the drinking. I'm sure my observations of how much better I felt, despite the embarrassment, after a binge will ring bells and tell you just how much I've wetted my toe in the process.

                      I'm sure, after seeing how I have had to work thru the nic addiction again and again until I have finally understood what addiction means and that there are only two ways to deal with it, and that capitulation is not acceptable, and that leaves abstinence, that I will have have the same process in regards to the whiskey.

                      I don't think that I will stop drinking anytime soon, though I think I must, and will, stop eventually. My experience with the cigarettes has shown me that I am never really over it, and that as much as I might think that This is the time I have Done it, that is precisely the time to be extra vigilant.

                      I don't think that my thoughts about 'slowing' my drinking are anything but self-enabling fantasy. I think that it is part of an all too recognizable slow progression towards sobriety. I find it both funny and sad that my awareness of the fact that it is a process, inevitably fraught with backsliding and failure (I'm no super-human), at the same time makes me likely to zoom through it that much faster and also to fail that much more often and dramatically.

                      I''m currently in the denial phase. I'll allow myself to think I can get it under control. I know this is silly. Obviously I can't. But I enjoy being drunk so very, very much. And well, this is the program. Despite whatever insight and oversight of my behavior I have been granted, I'm the same drunk idiot as every other drunk idiot and one simply must go through the stages. I think I can't fully move to the next step until I've FELT the current, no matter how obvious it is what I am doing.

                      I do think that making a fool of myself here, among people so (thank you) willing to forgive me, and for whom I have so much respect, will help a great deal.

                      I might make this into my personal "So, now that I have quit smoking (again) and am resultingly so annoyingly grotesquely bloated of belly, AND am now clearly a drunk, what other horribly embarrassing much loved personal practices must I examine?" Blog.

                      Stay tuned for more boring reiteration of the same plodding failure, humiliation, illumination, try again slow progress towards not doing harm story of addiction that has been told a (rhetorical) thousand times before!


                      PS. Truth in Advertising disclosure: The above was written from ~ 5 to ~ 15 oz into the night's quotient of Jack Daniels. I'm a ****ing addict.
                      Last edited by Ace Sewer; 01-18-2012, 11:25 PM.
                      This is my reminder to myself that no good will ever come from discussing politics or religion with anyone, ever.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: My apologies for my recent behavior.

                        Alcohol addiction is like making love to a gorilla,You ain't through till the gorilla is!
                        Get some help before You self destruct! It's a great life!
                        I can build anything You want , if you draw a picture of it , on the back of a big enough check .

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: My apologies for my recent behavior.

                          Originally posted by Ace Sewer View Post
                          Thank you, all.

                          I don't really have any recollection of any of it. Apparently I save my nastiness for my on-line friends when drunk; the gf says I was a happy and flattering drunk. Apparently I told her I thought she was easily twice as beautiful as usual since there were at least two of her in front of me. She tells me it is interesting to be around me when I am that drunk as my thoughts slow down enough and are all vocalized so she can follow how I've moved from one thing to another to another.

                          While it is nice to hear from one direction that I am a pleasant drunk, I certainly seem to have embarrassed myself here. Regardless of how I might be perceived by those around me, it is a frightening thing to have literally no memory of what took place as I moved and acted in the world.

                          I'm sure those of you with experience as alcoholics will recognize where I am at when I say I intend to slow the drinking. I'm sure my observations of how much better I felt, despite the embarrassment, after a binge will ring bells and tell you just how much I've wetted my toe in the process.

                          I'm sure, after seeing how I have had to work thru the nic addiction again and again until I have finally understood what addiction means and that there are only two ways to deal with it, and that capitulation is not acceptable, and that leaves abstinence, that I will have have the same process in regards to the whiskey.

                          I don't think that I will stop drinking anytime soon, though I think I must, and will, stop eventually. My experience with the cigarettes has shown me that I am never really over it, and that as much as I might think that This is the time I have Done it, that is precisely the time to be extra vigilant.

                          I don't think that my thoughts about 'slowing' my drinking are anything but self-enabling fantasy. I think that it is part of an all too recognizable slow progression towards sobriety. I find it both funny and sad that my awareness of the fact that it is a process, inevitably fraught with backsliding and failure (I'm no super-human), at the same time makes me likely to zoom through it that much faster and also to fail that much more often and dramatically.

                          I''m currently in the denial phase. I'll allow myself to think I can get it under control. I know this is silly. Obviously I can't. But I enjoy being drunk so very, very much. And well, this is the program. Despite whatever insight and oversight of my behavior I have been granted, I'm the same drunk idiot as every other drunk idiot and one simply must go through the stages. I think I can't fully move to the next step until I've FELT the current, no matter how obvious it is what I am doing.

                          I do think that making a fool of myself here, among people so (thank you) willing to forgive me, and for whom I have so much respect, will help a great deal.

                          I might make this into my personal "So, now that I have quit smoking (again) and am resultingly so annoyingly grotesquely bloated of belly, AND am now clearly a drunk, what other horribly embarrassing much loved personal practices must I examine?" Blog.

                          Stay tuned for more boring reiteration of the same plodding failure, humiliation, illumination, try again slow progress towards not doing harm story of addiction that has been told a (rhetorical) thousand times before!


                          PS. Truth in Advertising disclosure: The above was written from ~ 5 to ~ 15 oz into the night's quotient of Jack Daniels. I'm a ****ing addict.
                          Amazing! If you decided to write novels instead of posts, Hemingway would have nothing on you! I'll give this to you, you're honest about how drinkng makes you feel. Wish I could get numb and take the edge off once in a while. I have thoughts running around in my head and since I just don't have the patience or skill to properly collect them, I'll just sort of blurt them out. You are the same basic person sober as drunk, just not as inhibited, which leads me to believe you could be just as nice sober. You could also take a drive sober, roll up the windows and yell all the sexist, racist, and other pent up thoughts you need to get out. On your road to discovery, you must have considered A.A.? There is something about standing up in front of your fellow man and admitting who and what you are that lifts the weight a little. You are not alone in your relationship with alcohol, you are not unique in your experience. All the pats on the back aside, anyone who can write as well as you is no dummy and could probably save more lives worth saving by being a part of alcohol recovery, rather than wasting more good health and time drunk! We live until the very moment we die, do something worthwhile beyond making excuses and apologies.
                          I'm sure you've read plenty of my posts, some were written in pain, in anger, in sadness and plenty of other emotions and states of mind. I offered support, condolences, angered and insulted a few for which I have sometimes apologized, but I have to man up and take the blame. In my case, it's all me, no excuses. You realize you have a problem, you made your apology here, now take the next step and break the pattern, whatever it takes. We screw up, it happens, but we can change too. I'll say a prayer. Frank

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: My apologies for my recent behavior.

                            Ace
                            I read the lost post a few times.
                            No real harm done
                            Enjoy yourself , Just take it easy

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: My apologies for my recent behavior.

                              Ace,

                              I've often read your posts and found them enjoyable... I missed the one that you feel had embarrassed you. But your "apology" was a nice piece, and I think that alone speaks loudly of your good character. I of course don't know you, beyond what you have written in the past and certainly a post written "under the influence" doesn't dampen anything in my mind... except perhaps your weakness for alchohol; and God knows that we all fall down once in awhile, for whatever reason.

                              I however, do not think for a moment that "alchohol" or any other influence brings out the "truth" in a person. On the contrary, it places the mind and the spirit into such a foggy area that almost anything can be said. We forgive such incidences when it happens to our friends, and I think you very well need to recognize that such things are part of the frailties of being human.

                              On a personal note, I can't blame alcohol or drugs for any past "failures of grace" on my part. Anger, often becomes it's own "influence" and at times I am an "angry man"... and one which will lash out like someone crazed. As I get older I have mellowed... age and personal failures of grace can do that and so I have learned to recognize my shortcomings, apologize to others, and forgive myself in the process. That forgiveness let's me get beyond such weaknesses and learn by the experience, thus not repeating such failures, by not continueing to carry the burden of the past. Above all, it acknowledges how strong we humans can be, despite our occasional failures. It's nice to know, for all of us, that though we have weaknesses, we are able to apologize, recognize within ourselves, and move forward with our strength to the benefit of ourselves and those friends and loved ones around us.

                              Keep up the good work, and may your strength increase,

                              CWS

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