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  • #16
    Re: Child Support

    A simple solution ......

    Get into politics!

    Become a Senator, Congressman, Mayor, Governor, maybe even President
    and you'll no longer be responsible for anything you do!

    You can then screw anything any time, any place anyway..
    and be able to blame it on someone else!

    Cactus Man

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: Child Support

      It sounds like the baby momma is a worthless piece of garbage as you describe her. I assume as a responsible male and father of the child you are providing the child with some guidance during your court ordered visitation? You should do whatever it takes to get custody of that child away from that worthless piece of garbage as soon as possible. The child deserves at least one responsible parent.

      Mark
      "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

      I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

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      • #18
        Re: Child Support

        I have a stepbrother with 5 kids from 4 different women. Child support eats his lunch but he's taking care of all of them. If he whines about it, it has never been around me.

        There certainly are some parental rights issues that are terribly skewed towards the woman, but that isn't new news. If a woman wants to keep the baby the man is on the hook. If the man wants the baby he's at the mercy of the woman. It's not equal....it never has been...it probably never will be. Deal with it.

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        • #19
          Re: Child Support

          I have a son who got a divorced after 15-years of marriage. They have been divorced for 5-years but we still consider our ex-daughter in law our daughter. When they were first divorced she moved back from Texas and lived with us for a year. He was ordered to pay $900 a month in child support. He works out of the Country 6-months per year or more and is not allowed off the base unless he is in a helicopter flying off-shore so he needs no money. He makes 6-figures a year after taxes and has his entire check direct deposited in his ex-wife's account. When he is home, she gives him an allowance out of his pay. A parents children are their first responsibility regardless of circumstances.

          Mark
          Last edited by ToUtahNow; 08-08-2013, 06:08 PM.
          "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

          I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Child Support

            Originally posted by CWSmith View Post
            I'm not exactly surprised by the whining of the issue or the reactions to it. I guess what I would have to say to any guy who feels victimized by this, is....Like you blind or just stupid?

            First off, I'd like to think any guy worth his salt, wouldn't be so hard-up that he'd just pick up some chick and to get his "rocks off". (Yeah, I do know there are a lot of guys like that, they'd do it to any one if given the opportunity.) Are you that irresponsible to not only not know what you are sticking into, but you don't take precautions either? And let's say this wasn't just some encounter but that you actually "dated", had a serioius relationship, and as a result the pregnancy occurred... then YOU are equally responsible and who is to say that you just didn't skip out once you discovered the deed was done!

            Hey man, I'm a sixties guy... that period in life when the so-called sexual revolution occurred and it really was pretty easy to have almost any number of sexual encounters with young ladies. But jeez... how about a little pride and a little caring for both yourself and whatever partner you might desire. Unless you are some really handsome, charming, well-hung dude, didn't you ever consider that this chick might just be promiscuous enough to lay down for any guy who asked her? (Like who or what was in there last night?) No thank you, I really would like the woman I'm with to be someone I know well and care very much about.)

            I guess if you are like too many who approach sex as a carefree recreation, then you get what you got. Consider yourself lucky that you got a baby instead of the clap, or worse AIDS! You play, you pay!

            We have an old saying here, "What I lack for in taste, I try to make up for in pride!" Apparently, YOU DID NOT CHOOSE WISELY!

            CWS
            And Jesus Christ has spoken! The man who has never been in debt, never had casual sex without a condom, never driven under the influence.
            I'm impressed, and I believe you, luck and fate played no part in your life. The thrust of this thread was the inequity of the system. Stolen knows he put himself at risk both with his health and with his finances. He is venting, and we should be supportive enough to let him complain and offer some support along with some critism. Heck if he did this and was married he would have more in common with men who have run for President than you and I. Stupid is a harsh word, it's like calling someone a liar. What is this Forum coming to?

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Child Support

              Franki,

              YOU wonder what this forum is coming to???? Easy answer there bub, just read some of your own postings.

              This forum is not and never should be about supporting or being supportive of every complaint and statement that someone feels the need to make. And "stupid"... well, it's not nearly as harsh as some to the words or statements made, but I guess much of the interpretation of the term depends on how closely a person might relate to the post I suppose, but seeing it as "calling someone a liar" escapes me entirely! I'd tell the same thing to any friend or relative facing such challenges..... "Don't be STUPID!" and you or anyone could certainly follow that up with similar condemnations of actions in which neither a sense of morality or logical thought were engaged.

              As far as your label of me.... Where do you comeoff with that? YOU Franki have no idea of what I have had to put up with, overcome, or anything else. My wife and I have had more than our share of challenges.... the difference perhaps is that you don't understand how I live to be prepared for them and refuse to live my life as a victim and spend my remaining days complainng about such things and/or that I woefully challenged by the entire world around me. Luck and fate are what they are, and my luck has never been good, except perhaps for God's grace in saving my sorry a$$ at times when I shouldn't have walked away. I'm grateful for what I've got, as meager as it might have been at times. But I've always know that my life is going to be only what I alone can make of it... and to that end I believe in living with honor, preparation, and with independance in the face of those who are more than willing to make little of me or deny my due. We all are given choices, it is up to us to be careful and to be wise in the exercise of those choices. AND you are right, I have never done casual sex, I'm not an animal; I've never driven drunk, because I AM responsible not only to myself, but to others too; and debt is only necessary when the purchase is such that you have absolutely NO other choice, and even then it must be conducted with maximum restraint and handled with ultimant responsibility. "Debt" is not just money, it is an enfringement on your value and one which must be quickly addressed for the sake of honor.

              These are not values which I was given or that I enherited. These are values which I have taught myself, and which I conduct my life. That doesn't make me any kind of religous figure. It makes me a poor guy, who struggles to meet life's challenges, and in that struggle I can keep my head up and say that I made own decisions and with the help of a gracious and wonderful wife, we meet our challenges with dignity and honor.

              And yes, dear Franki, this particular thread may well be about "inequity", but nobody puts a 'gun to our head' to say we have to have sex with every tart that comes our way.... if that is the situation here. And surely men get treated somewhat harshly, if you wish to see it that way. But then there are a hell of a lot of these guys who simply don't pay up and they get away with it too. I give the fellow some applause in that he is honoring his situation and his child and hopefully he'll take whatever steps necessary to give that child an education and life in which it might NOT make the same mistakes its parents did.

              CWS

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              • #22
                Re: Child Support

                Amen. Thought I would thank your post before the peanut gallery did it first.

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                • #23
                  Re: Child Support

                  Originally posted by stolen View Post
                  And duck both those stories are equally bad. I feel for everyone involved. While the parents in either case couldn't get along hopefully the issues present don't poison the kids on any level.
                  I only took a page from my friends book - he just saw things as they were, any time I mentioned how insane his situation was, he only replied with how awesome his kid was doing in tee-league, or how great his other kids'grades were.

                  He owned his obligations, begrudgingly at first, even when I asked if there were any exceptions the court could make, he just compulsively put his focus on his kids, used that to motivate himself to open a business.

                  While he could have focused on the "baby-mama" demographic and spent his time moaning & groaning, he knew it was a mutual choice to marry & have children.

                  Not to sound righteous, I honestly don't think I could have handled it the way he did.


                  .
                  Last edited by DuckButter; 08-08-2013, 02:45 PM.

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                  • #24
                    Re: Child Support

                    You play, you pay. Simple as that.
                    sigpic

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                    • #25
                      Re: Child Support

                      Originally posted by NHMaster3015 View Post
                      You play, you pay. Simple as that.
                      That's true, but the same cannot be said of women who play and earn. They earn housing, healthcare, food, and monetary gain.
                      I give you credit for not calling this guy an idiot. He screwed up but did not have to be insulted.

                      Almost forgot to mention the "Obamaphone".
                      Last edited by Frankiarmz; 08-08-2013, 05:48 PM.

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                      • #26
                        Re: Child Support

                        Originally posted by Frankiarmz View Post
                        That's true, but the same cannot be said of women who play and earn. They earn housing, healthcare, food, and monetary gain. ....
                        This is untrue.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: Child Support

                          Ok Frankie, lets take what you said at face value. So "some" get housing, WIC, and welfare but, what would iT cost them to put the kid in daycare and go to work? The sad truth is that for the unskilled, the job at Walmart ain't gonna cut it. In fact, most times they just can't afford to get a job. As for the Obama phone, what a crock of crap. That program was started by the republicans under BUSH, not Obama, and the so called abuses of it are few and far between. That whole story is just more typical regressive half truths and lies.
                          sigpic

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                          • #28
                            Re: Child Support

                            NMH, what would it cost these young women to use birth control and not get pregnant? The system is designed to keep people on assistance, not to help them get off. Like I said earlier, human livestock! This happens to be more of a white problem than black for those of you thinking racist thoughts. I have seen it up close for years, young women with two or more small children, no father in the picture and no chance of getting off of assistance. I don't care if bush, obamare or disney started the free phone program, that fact is that instead of helping people to be productive, to be goood parents, the system does the opposite. I worked in The Bronx for thirty years, and I see the same thing in my town in CT, young women getting pregnant with no husband, no father in the equation. That is what I know to be true, your truth may be different so there is no point in arguing. Maybe I'm just being childish, or obtuse? Shawshank reference
                            Last edited by Frankiarmz; 08-08-2013, 06:46 PM.

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                            • #29
                              Re: Child Support

                              Originally posted by Frankiarmz View Post
                              the same cannot be said of women who play and earn. They earn housing, healthcare, food, and monetary gain.
                              Frank,

                              I guess I don't agree with you. Look, you know as well as I that sometimes a woman may well use her pregnancy to her own advantage, and I've said this many times.... a girl getting herself pregnant is one thing, it can happen to the best of young girls in a moment of poor judgement, but I don't feel the government or anyone for that matter should continue to give her "a raise" for every kid she has after that. (And in the recent past, I've stated the details of that.)

                              But, let's face the simple biological facts of where the responsibility and the burden lays: It is clearly with the female side of the pregnancy equation. She's the one with the morning sickness, the pain and burden of that baby growing inside of her, and it is she who has the responsibility of prenatal care, concerns for both the baby's and her own health. She is the one who must find a way to support her needs both before and after the baby arrives and she is the one whose life is at risk during the whole process. The guy? Well let's face it.. in most cases the guy doesn't find out until after awhile and/or upon finding out either immediately or afterwards, he has a chance to run, to deny responsibility, and to even question the whole affair and push the girl into proving that it is his. And, I think you will find that there is a pretty good percentage of guys who would walk away; they've had thier fun, their conquest so-to-speak and it is really easier than hell to get out of town. The woman has a couple of choices.... abort or carry through, and in either case she is burdened by that choice.

                              Now, just look at yourself (or myself)... what if in our amorous adventures we fathered a child. Now look, I've had girlfriends that I rather loved and was serious with and we were together. But it didn't work out and we parted. Could I have fathered a child... probably not, but then again accidents can happen. Would the woman come back at me... well, not necessarily. The fact is, I'm not sure that either you or I would know and that is the problem.... the entire responsibility is with the female. If SHE wishes, she can make the decisions and if SHE wishes, she can let her ex-boyfriend know... but if she thought we wouldn't make worthy fathers or just was sick of the whole thing, she might well just move on to being a single mother too! Again, SHE is the one, not you not me, not any guy! We are so detached from that responsibility that we may well be just oblivious (or read that as "stupid").

                              The point is that it is the female who knows and has the responsibility of decision. It is the woman (good or bad), that is too often left with the necessary precautions and/or responsibility of the pregnancy. The guy can cast her off as being deceitful, foolish, promiscuous, not doing something to prevent the pregancy, not aborting it, or whatever. All too many men won't own up or take responsibility... period!

                              But again, one needs to know who their sexual partner is and one just doesn't engage with anything that comes along on a night of opportunity. And, are we to make a political issue of this?

                              CWS

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: Child Support

                                CWS, the female has the responsibility of making the decision of wheter or not to use birth control and whether of not to abort or keep the baby. When the mother is not financially independent , and the father cannot be identified the responsibility rests with the taxpayers, and it's not just the financial responsibilty for the welfare of the child. The mother needs and gets free housing, healthcare, food, etc. The situation I mentioned of two or more children to an unwed mother on public assistance is both very common and very costly. The system does reward the mother with more assistance for every child. You are demonizing the irresponsible men and trying to make victims out of the free willed women in the equation. Do you see women as victims, as less intelligent than their male counterparts, less responsible for using birth control? I don't so, I place equal blame on both consenting parties. This is not a political issue, it is a quality of life issue. In my opinion.

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