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Child Support

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  • Child Support

    So I pay child support.

    And the overall idea of child support isn't bad. But does anyone think it's not only abused by women, but used to punish guys? Both by the state and the women?

    So you hook up with ole girl at a party, get her pregnant. Few years later, the state comes at you. She is on every flavor of assistance. They want to hit you for XXX a month, plus 3 years worth of back support. And you get to carry insurance, pay for daycare and you can't claim the child as a dependent.

    So this is a pretty regular thing that happens to guys. Now when you get hit for that back support, even though you may or may not have known she even had a kid, or heck even her name, now you have oh let's say 15,000 worth or debt, that goes on your credit report.

    But what I don't get is who in their right mind says she is a good mother? She can't even provide for herself (obviously since she is getting state assistance) and is going to set a trend in her childs mind to live of the state, and what's between her legs. So why is she even allowed to have children at this point? Why does the state support the tax burdens, and punish the fathers so hard? Why not say, oh you need how much more to raise this child but the father requires nothing *custody granted*...

    Why is it so unfair for men, and when will we band together and lobby for a change in child support laws?

  • #2
    Re: Child Support

    1st question
    why would a self-respected man hook up with a women like that?
    You pay to play


    • #3
      Re: Child Support

      They make condoms

      Stupid deserves to be punished


      • #4
        Re: Child Support

        Originally posted by Lee H View Post
        1st question
        why would a self-respected man hook up with a women like that?
        You pay to play
        Have you even SEEN the general stock of women we are forced to pick through lately?
        We live in an age where a man can, and sometimes does, pays child support for children that are not even his.

        Look up the "Men Going Their Own Way" forums. There is horror story after horror story about men being squeezed out of every penny they have, lest they end up in jail.
        The most extreme example is by a man by the name of Thomas James Ball. Lets just say he went out in a blaze of glory, yet media coverage was non-existant.

        Here, food for thought:
        Last edited by tailgunner; 08-07-2013, 08:34 PM.


        • #5
          Re: Child Support

          I have no sympathy for you you couldn`t keep it in your pants or use a rubber and were only thinking of one thing at the time and why should the tax payer pay for your little bundle and sexual urges



          • #6
            Re: Child Support

            Oh gentlemen.

            Quick to judge I see.

            I pay my support monthly. But you guys are missing the point, as is the rest of society. You call me (fathers) stupid, and laugh at us, but turn a blind eye to the woman.

            What they are doing is fraud and that is the plain and simple truth. Condom, no condom. Maybe one was used and it broke and she was on the pill and he pulled out anyways, but pre-cum got her pregnant? Still stupid? Accidents happen but women today capitolize uopn it.

            The point isn't burdening the tax payer Tony, stop, breath for a minute and read the post. these women are the burden of the taxpayer. Not the fathers. Most cases of child support stem from the mother leeching off the system and the state asking for the fathers name. They then persue him, no matter the reason the law is designed to punish him. Some women actually do it out of spite. Hatred for the man and will do anything to see him suffer.

            why would a self respecting man hook up with a woman like that Lee?
            No one intentionally hooks up with their X, but we all have them, X-wives,girlfriends. So why were you with your X? We all saw something that we liked. But that isn't the point.

            For those of you that have daughters and have to deal with scumbag baby daddies, I feel for you.

            But this isn't about that. Because for every scumbag, there is at least 1 good man getting bent over. That man could be your helper, boss, brother. Anyone.

            For those of you that oppose welfare, this is the same exact system except these women are straight living it up. Foodstamps, section 8, child support and they can have a boyfriend the entire time so they just get by, by working the system to their advantage. they have no useful skills and usually learn this behavior from their parents. And then it just goes down the line.


            • #7
              Re: Child Support

              Ya got my sympathy buddy but it could be worse. You could be married to the woman and through divorce you would lose much more. You could have contracted a nasty or fatal disease. My advice is get a vasectomy, I had one years ago and it's not a big deal. You are a little sore for a day and then everything works just as good as ever only you won't be getting any woman pregnant. I hate condoms, but if you can't wait until you know the woman well enough to get some medical results back from the lab, the only other safe thing to do is use a condom. Learn from your mistakes. Yes the courts are tough on guys who usually earn more although there are more and more women paying up these days as they earn more. Courts usually side with the woman when it comes to custody unless you got a darn good lawyer and are a pillar of the community. She is probably gonna poison the kids mind to hate you regardless of your attempts to be involved. Best of luck, and learn from this!


              • #8
                Re: Child Support

                There are two sides to every story, but this one has only one priority.

                1 - My sister had a child with her fiance, police chief's son who used that to his advantage every chance he could.

                He cheated on her while pregnant, drank & drugged non stop, beat her, she left him and my sister got near nothing from him over the entire 18 years, even now he regularly gets picked up, put in jail, still refuses to pay 23+ years later.

                I'll never, ever forgot those desperate days when my niece was an infant.

                2 - My best friend, also a plumber, two kids with his first wife, she was a "recovering" drug addict with a relapse problem.

                Cheated on him after disappearing all night, admitted to cheating and he forgave her. - She did it gain.

                After the divorce, he was forced to move back to his parents at age 35, he had nothing left after payments.

                When he was forced to stay at his parents, he would only talk about how important it was that his kids not be traumatized.

                Ask either my sister or my best friend how they feel, they'll both tell you that nothing mattered more than the children.

                I admire both of them for that.

                Last edited by DuckButter; 08-07-2013, 10:59 PM.


                • #9
                  Re: Child Support

                  "So you hook up with ole girl at a party, get her pregnant" quote, stolen

                  We have to stop giving women a pass! Unless you drugged, and or forced her to have sex with you, she is equally responsible for the pregnancy. She could have used birth control, she could have had an abortion. If nothing matters more than the children, folks should take much more responsibility before starting a family or getting pregnant. Having a child to save a marriage is never a good idea. The fact of the matter is that the children are of little importance much too often. I never cheated in thirty years and I had opportunities. I did not throw in the towel and get a divorce because I was unhappy. The more I thought about marriage the more I became convinced that it is unnatural. Two different people, raised differently, with different values, different sex drives, who age differently, who are we kidding. I think it's a small miracle anyone stays married. I happen to care more about my wife than I care about myself, maybe that's the key to a strong marriage.
                  God help the kids who are abused in a bad marriage and torn apart through divorce.


                  • #10
                    Re: Child Support

                    So stolen let me ask you? If the goverment doesn't step in and enforce child support payments from the non-custodial parent what would the alternative be? You mentioned this woman being on assistance etc which is why they come after the guys. Personally I don't see a problem with it. Child support ordered by the court because of a divorce and custody agreement or child support imposed by the goverment makes no difference to me so long as the people who contributed to the making of that baby are held responsible. Now from what I read, your upset in a situation where the woman isn't financially stable enough to cover all her expenses and you are upset the man has to still pay his portion even though the woman can't put up her half. So I ask you, what would make you happy? The guy not paying? Do you realize in the case you describe, child support is not paid out on top of any assistance paid to the mother. The child support is usually collected by a third party establishment and those payments off set what the tax payers would normally be on the hook for in terms of supporting the child and mother. With out child support the mother as an example could receive $1000 worth of assistance. When the goverment collects a $500 child support payment the mother still only receives $1000 but at least $500 of it isn't tax payers money.

                    I do not agree that financial income should be considered as a primary reason to establish who has custody of any child. Consider the dismal fact that a single parent may be faced with the realization that they will spend more than they make if they do go to work and have to pay for day care, travel etc. In situations such as that, it's easy to judge these women but I find the bitter taste of child support usually blinds people to some of these factors which encourage people to rely on assistance instead of becoming self sufficient.

                    I have no doubt social programs are being taken advantage of but personally I think you are confusing two separate issues. Child support and what you owe has nothing to do with what type of assistance she is getting. Your child support is determined by what "you" make and what society has determined is a fair portion of your income for you to pay.

                    I don't know about the programs in your area but I have found here in Canada there has been a big push to get single parents out of the house and working. Even it it means subsidizing daycare for more than the parent makes per week. The theory is ( and I agree) if the parent is out working everyday they are more likely to continue working, perhaps get a better job and eventually get off assistance... but this really then becomes a whole different debate regarding the effectiveness of social programs and not why it sucks paying child support to someone on assistance.


                    • #11
                      Re: Child Support

                      The government is still rewarding the female for getting pregnanat and carrying the baby to term knowing full well she will not be held financially responsible. Whether or not they find the father which in many cases they do not, she still gets a free ride. Housing , food, healthcare, cell phone, etc. The system needs to change to hold both people accountable. Forced birth control or sterilization for both the male and female if they decide to make a living out of having babies someone else pays to support.
                      The man in this scenario is contributory for having consensual sex, but is powerless regarding the pregnancy. Why does the female get to decide whether to carry to term or abort if her decision not only financially impacts the guy who got her pregnant but the society that must support her?


                      • #12
                        Re: Child Support

                        In this day and age there is absolutely no reason for anybody to get pregnant or to impregnate anyone unless they intend for that to happen, period!! Fingers can be pointed and blame can be falsely assigned but the bottom line is both parties are equally responsible for raising and supporting the child into adulthood. If you feel the mother isn't a good mother then take her to court and fight for custody.
                        I decided to change calling the bathroom the "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.


                        • #13
                          Re: Child Support

                          Originally posted by BadgerDave View Post
                          In this day and age there is absolutely no reason for anybody to get pregnant or to impregnate anyone unless they intend for that to happen, period!! Fingers can be pointed and blame can be falsely assigned but the bottom line is both parties are equally responsible for raising and supporting the child into adulthood. If you feel the mother isn't a good mother then take her to court and fight for custody.
                          Dave, I agree there is no reason, but the excuses are many. Some folks get pregnant intentionally so that they can get assistance and live their live that way. I worked in the South Bronx for many years and that's the way things were. There are plenty of folks who have sex to fill some other emotional void and they are as irresponsponsible about the risk of pregnancy as they are of the risk of serious sexually transmitted disease. I wonder how many folks are drunk or drugged up and have sex? Unless we had mandatory birth control for men and women, and the only way a woman could get pregnant was to prove intent to raise a child and, financial independence, nothing will change!
                          We will continue to tie up the courts, perpetuate generation upon generation of government supported human livestock. The children are the innocent pawns, and whether they die during an abortion, at the hands of abuse, or the violent drug and crime infested surroundings they grow up in, they are the victims.


                          • #14
                            Re: Child Support

                            Actually superman, these women are rewarded child support, on top of the assistance they get from the state. Not only that but how they spend it is not regulated at all. Now I understand that would be next to impossible, but they get the money on a debit card and can take out cash no questions asked.

                            Both parties are not responsible. The father is. 100% The mother has it on easy street. Not only does she not have to pay anything, but she gets all the perks. For each kid she has she gets more support and more assistance. After 2 kids girl has it not only down to a science but life gets drastically easier. She in herself becomes a black hole for services. And her kids know no better.

                            Does financial responsibility determine the ability to raise a kid? It certainly plays a huge role. Kids learn from their environment. And if you can't even hold a job, what are you teaching your kid?
                            Keep in mind that if it wasn't for the govmn't, these women would be on the streets. Would you then say she is a unfit mother?

                            Imagine it like this. You're the judge, two people come to you and say hey I want this kid. One says I have a fulltime job, I have daycare arranged, insurance a car a stable place to live and I have a system in place to provide for my child. And I don't need any outside assistance to raise my child

                            The other person says, hey I want this kid. I get foodstamps, I am on government housing, and I plan on taking the other person to court to help pay for raising the child. I don't have a job or a car but I get what I need through state assistance.

                            Who would you grant custody to based off that alone? Imagine they are both neutral genders because in this day and age "gender" shouldn't matter, remember womens equality? And guys are JUST AS CAPABLE OF BEING LOVING PARENTS AS WOMEN, so don't try to feed me that filth that mothers are naturally better parents. Or they are more loving. Women are also just as capable of having a job. Most times I see it easier for women to get a job because of their personalities. AND, most women I know that have jobs are very loyal workers. Tend to stay at them for years and seem to be a tad bit more resourceful than guys when it comes to childcare and the like.

                            It took two people to make that kid, but only 1 pays for it.

                            I love my kids and do everything I can for them, but in these cases the child is a, piece. it's a item the mother uses.

                            And duck both those stories are equally bad. I feel for everyone involved. While the parents in either case couldn't get along hopefully the issues present don't poison the kids on any level.


                            • #15
                              Re: Child Support

                              I'm not exactly surprised by the whining of the issue or the reactions to it. I guess what I would have to say to any guy who feels victimized by this, is....Like you blind or just stupid?

                              First off, I'd like to think any guy worth his salt, wouldn't be so hard-up that he'd just pick up some chick and to get his "rocks off". (Yeah, I do know there are a lot of guys like that, they'd do it to any one if given the opportunity.) Are you that irresponsible to not only not know what you are sticking into, but you don't take precautions either? And let's say this wasn't just some encounter but that you actually "dated", had a serioius relationship, and as a result the pregnancy occurred... then YOU are equally responsible and who is to say that you just didn't skip out once you discovered the deed was done!

                              Hey man, I'm a sixties guy... that period in life when the so-called sexual revolution occurred and it really was pretty easy to have almost any number of sexual encounters with young ladies. But jeez... how about a little pride and a little caring for both yourself and whatever partner you might desire. Unless you are some really handsome, charming, well-hung dude, didn't you ever consider that this chick might just be promiscuous enough to lay down for any guy who asked her? (Like who or what was in there last night?) No thank you, I really would like the woman I'm with to be someone I know well and care very much about.)

                              I guess if you are like too many who approach sex as a carefree recreation, then you get what you got. Consider yourself lucky that you got a baby instead of the clap, or worse AIDS! You play, you pay!

                              We have an old saying here, "What I lack for in taste, I try to make up for in pride!" Apparently, YOU DID NOT CHOOSE WISELY!

                              Last edited by CWSmith; 08-08-2013, 10:37 AM.