Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

dam builders

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • dam builders

    This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter. SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County Dear Mr. DeVries:

    It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

    Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

    A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.

    A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.

    The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2006 .

    Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.

    Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.
    We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.
    Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions

    Sincerely,
    David L. Price
    District Representative and Water Management Division
    Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:

    Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County


    Dear Mr. Price,

    Your certified letter dated 12/17/05 has been handed to me to respond to.
    I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane , Trout Run, Pennsylvania A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

    As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

    My first dam question to you is:
    (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or
    (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?

    If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.

    I have several concerns. My first concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.

    If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.

    In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

    So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2006 ? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then, and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.

    In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.

    If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are not careful where they dump!

    Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

    RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS
    9/11/01, never forget.

  • #2
    Re: dam builders

    ROFLMBFAO at the letter

    I rule in favor of the dam building beavers. God instructed them on how to fell a tree the correct way. God instructed them on when and where to build their dams of which to date no group of humans can build one like they do. If a body of Govt wants to mess with God they they shall be damed (blocked) and also may be damned as well.
    Last edited by Woussko; 10-11-2007, 11:11 PM.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: dam builders

      According to SNOPES, the beaver story is, in fact, TRUE...
      http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.asp

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: dam builders

        Your tax dollars at work
        sigpic

        Robert

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: dam builders

          Beavers are sure cute little creatures until they cut down your tress and flood your property.

          Mark
          "Somewhere a Village is Missing Twelve Idiots!" - Casey Anthony

          I never lost a cent on the jobs I didn't get!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: dam builders

            OSC,
            Thanks for that one buddy, after being stuck in bed for two weeks after surgery, I needed a good laugh like that! Nice to see you're spirits are still up.

            Ern

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: dam builders

              That's just too dam funny!
              ================================================== ====
              All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: dam builders

                that was a good one . i would love to have seen the face of the person who got the letter from the land owner
                Charlie

                My seek the peek fundraiser page
                http://observatory.mountwashington.o...nal&fr_id=1040


                http://www.mountwashington.org/weather/conditions.php

                new work pictures 12/09
                http://public.fotki.com/hvachawk/

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: dam builders

                  Now you guys are looking at this all wrong.The local DNR there is missing out on a huge oppertunity to license unlicensed native builders.Just think of all the birds building nests causing rot in trees and obstructing views.The bees building hives in neighborhoods threatening children.It would also expand their grasp of dealing with the native inhabitants.I'm sure during a personal interview of a bear building a new den it could enhance the replacement of DNR employees with new fodder err excuse me brilliant new college graduates with natural recourses degrees.Of course too since this is a new legal document, and since the applicant couldn't actually sign but would have to use a pawprint, therfore a lawyer would also be needed to explain the rights to the inhabitant and noterize the pawprint on the document.So seemingly this would be a great way to sort the employees that can do from those that can't do.
                  Sam

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: dam builders

                    I also enjoyed reading that legal mumbo jumbo, good story there OSC......
                    Great Link for a Construction Owner/Tradesmen, and just say Garager sent you....

                    http://www.contractorspub.com

                    A good climbing rope will last you 3 to 5 years, a bad climbing rope will last you a life time !!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: dam builders

                      lol oh i didn't find this dam story, it was on another dam forum i belong too. so i just cut and pasted the dam thing to here, i never thought you guys would have found it so dam amusing. but atleast you can see the dam humor in the one
                      9/11/01, never forget.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: dam builders

                        Now I would have never seen that Dam story, if you wouldn't have pasted the Dam thing here. So stop your Dam belly aching and take the Dam credit, when the credit is due. I also placed the Dam story on another Dam forum, so they may enjoy it too....
                        Great Link for a Construction Owner/Tradesmen, and just say Garager sent you....

                        http://www.contractorspub.com

                        A good climbing rope will last you 3 to 5 years, a bad climbing rope will last you a life time !!!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: dam builders

                          aww dam if you have to put it that dam way the i dam site will, thanks
                          9/11/01, never forget.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: dam builders

                            THAT was great one !! Stick that in your pipe an smoke ya DAM law makers !

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: dam builders

                              All I can say is DAM!

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X