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weekend calls crack me up

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  • #16
    Re: weekend calls crack me up

    Originally posted by Australian Plumber Josh View Post
    To people who call and dont even say hello but straight to "How much etc?...."

    "You couldnt afford me."

    Ive said it before, you can't please a tightarse.

    Sympathies to all my fellow trades who receive these type of calls.
    notice thouse calls all come from million $$ homes

    I've always wanted to say Im sorry your too stupid to own our product I have to remove your air is sooooo tempting at times


    • #17
      Re: weekend calls crack me up

      I tell em' "If you don't like my price now, you sure as hell won't like it when you call me back"


      • #18
        Re: weekend calls crack me up

        How about giving a price of a job small replace a trap 100 bucks .she told me ok do it i paid you when i get my income tax check .( ROSE)


        • #19
          Re: weekend calls crack me up

          i have nothing to add because i dont do service or residential .

          and all your stories are the reason i dont do it i would be twice as bad as dunbar

          My seek the peek fundraiser page

          new work pictures 12/09


          • #20
            Re: weekend calls crack me up

            It's rough~!

            But realistically, I'm out to make happy 70% of the 100% I work for. That's a fair number because there are people you'll never make happy, even doing the work for practically free.

            What's weird was last week was all new customers for me, this current week was all repeat customers. It's not usually a lightbulb experience like that.
            Northern Kentucky Plumbers Twitter Feed | Plumbing Videos


            • #21
              Re: weekend calls crack me up

              The best thing to do for Sunday calls is bring a jar of vasalene and hand it to the customer when you go through the door. He's gonna need it.


              • #22
                Crack me up? Send me into rage!
                1. A few weeks ago (the same weekend I decided I need to find a job) a customer called with a complaint of an oil smell. Keep in mind it was Saturday, and I had been out on calls all day. I got home at 10:30 pm and the answering service called me at 10:33 pm. I called them back, and got a recording that their phone would not take calls from caller ID blocked phones. (I'll tell you about that if you don't already know) Already irritated, I called back the answering service and told the customer that the customer was out of luck because I couldn't call them. 10 minutes later the service called me back and said that the customer claimed to have no such block on their phone, and made sure I had the right number. I tried again and got the same result. After I picked up the pieces of my phone and reassembled it, I un-blocked the caller ID and called the lady. Here's the punch line: "We have been smelling oil for 3 or 4 days. No, not exhaust fumes, just raw oil smell, but it just got much worse today." When I told her that it would take me 40 minutes or so to get there, she said, "That's ok, the entrance to the basement is outside..." Oh good lady, I wouldn't want you to be inconvenienced, don't let me keep you up late! This was a furnace we put in and we maintain; it was under warranty, and she has one of our service agreements, so no night / weekend fee. I didn't get home until almost 3:00 am. I spent two hours in a basement with an inch of water running across the floor. I didn't find one drop of oil where it shouldn't be.
                2. This one we all get frequently: Him: "I need an igniter. How much for an igniter? I've bought them before, and they can't be more than $20." Me: Well sir, we're closed. A service call is going to cost you $99, and if I find that it's an igniter, then installing the igniter will cost $125. Him: "I know it's a bad igniter, I've got it in my hand and it's broken, can't you just meet me somewhere and I'll buy the part from you?" Me: Well where do you live? Him: "___________, (somewhere at least half an hour from me) Me: "Sure I can meet you there, for $99 plus $125 and tax, or you can come to the office on Monday and buy a part."


                • #23
                  Re: Crack me up? Send me into rage!

                  There is only one that is better than pulling thier angel of a son's condoms out of the drain.

                  A few years ago, i was running a sewer and pulled back a few rubbers. Usually, not a big deal. Everyone laughs it off. This guy, IRATE!! Paid us and told us to leave immediately. He informed us that he and his wife live alone and he hadn't worn a condom in over 10 years!! OUCH!! Must have been a shoddy way to find out your wife was cheating!


                  • #24
                    Re: weekend calls crack me up

                    Its making a noise. Pulled cleaning rag from Kitchen exhaust fan. Thank you,That"ll be 75$!!


                    • #25
                      Re: weekend calls crack me up

                      CustSunday) I have an emergency, my toilet wont flush and I need it fixed right away. I absolutey cannot wait

                      Me:Ok ma'am, Our hourly is 92.50 x 2 on sunday, (double bubble)

                      Well how much during the week?

                      Me:92.50 an hour, wont make til wednesday

                      C: Ok , wednesday it is

                      These are all the reasons i got out of resi service
                      West Trail Mechanical Ltd
                      Service. Commitment. Expertise.



                      • #26
                        Re: weekend calls crack me up

                        You snake the line and pull out condoms. The parents look at each other saying it's not theirs. I ask if they have teenagers and "He's only 16 and such a good boy. He would never have sex. He's waiting till he gets married" is the reply.

                        We had this from a deeply religious couple who were mortified that their 16 year old daughter was having sex. Awkward. God bless....


                        • #27
                          Re: weekend calls crack me up

                          Originally posted by DUNBAR View Post
                          New customer, never met before

                          "We don't get our SS check till next wednesday, can we use the coupon and pay you then?"


                          "You installed 3 lav faucets, why can't I use a coupon for each one?"


                          "I'm calling about your "Free Aerator" and wanted to stop by and pick it up." ???


                          "How much is it if I have everything there and remove the old one?"


                          "I have about a foot of copper pipe, couple fittings and a valve that needs to be sweated, it's already together, just needs to be soldered. Might take about 10 minutes tops. How much do you charge for sweating two couplings and a valve?"


                          "I'm looking for alternatives to fixing my drain problem and I've been told that the drain is beyond repair. Can you tell me what you would charge to fix it?" < WTH???


                          "I need someone to come over and give me a free estimate on my water heater needing replaced." << I hang up on these calls


                          "Yeah I was referred to you by so n so and they told me that you give senior citizens discounts, is that true and can I use your coupon in the newspaper along with it?" <<< I play these out like a fiddle when they come at me like this. I make a point of frustrating them by asking off the wall questions, tons of them and don't stop until they want to get off the phone with me. LMAO!!!!


                          "I got your name from so n so and I don't have a lot of money and my son is in a wheelchair. I need to know how much you charge to put in a garbage disposal and I'm buying the disposal. I know how you guys are about materials and making money off stuff so I'll have it here. I need to know what you will charge me to install my garbage disposal, no parts...I got it covered."

                          You know what I did with this call, not even worth putting it in print.


                          "Somebody said you charge like $150 to replace a water heater. It's only 2 fittings up top and a electric wire connection. How soon can you come out?" I tell the customer I'll be right there and never show up. They call back, I keep telling them I'm on my way. LOL!!!

                          "You came highly recommended from my neighbor and I'm retired and on a fixed income. I have this drain in my basement that has been clogging for years and it won't drain now. I've been given prices from 4 different plumbers and all of them were too high. I want you to come give me a free estimate of what it would cost to fix my drain right. I checked with the BBB before I called you and it says you have a satisfactory rating and I'm trusting you to treat me right." My response always to these >>>> "Well, that's mighty kind of ya mam but I'm 4-6 months backed up on work (not true, just a couple weeks most times) and I suuuuuuuure wish I could help you but I'm just not available.

                          "But can you still come out and give me a free estimate?" "Sorry mam but I only give estimates once a month and yesterday was the day I committed myself to 8 estimates, we'll have to schedule next month if ya like?"

                          __________________________________________________ ______________

                          Some of my "replies"

                          "You need a handyman, not a plumber. If you want a good deal go to Big Lots."

                          "Funny you say that, I just broke my leg while we was talking. Gotta go" CLICK

                          "So I'm supposed to feel sorry for you because you got the same problems I do with money?"

                          "Wow, that's the first time anyone's ever told me that I'm expensive."

                          "At this time you are not qualified to meet our guidelines for service" << This one pisses off the masses, try it.

                          "It's amazing how well you try to find me after I sent your bounced check to the county attorney's office! Of course we can meet up so you can pay me!"

                          And Finally

                          "I called you back. It's not my fault you don't have call-waiting and my job isn't to chase a call you feel is at your convenience. You're wasting my time."

                          If anyone hasn't figured out by now, I'm very blunt in my rhetoric in person. The customer isn't always right and everyone knows that. As many customers I lose in this fashion, I've already qualified them as being trouble customers, they deserve my attitude because I haven't done anything to them, it's their actions towards me that warranted the above responses. Respect being the key word towards your hometown plumber.

                          I still get great enjoyment because I won't take crap from them. That carrot they are dangling over my head is found with the next phone call that comes into the office.

                          You have a way of hitting the nail on the head.Keep doing it.
                          Kenneth Collier
                          Maintenance and Sewer

                          P.O. Box 9441
                          Jackson, MS 39206
                          (601) 613-2678 (Cell)