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Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

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  • #31
    Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

    Originally posted by jrsaltz View Post
    Stop by McDonalds and grab a stack of applications. Put them in the service truck so a new guy or apprentice can clearly see them when they get in the truck on the first day. When they question you about this say:

    "We are going to spend the day figuring out whether or not I need to give you one of these at the end of it."

    Guaranteed pep in the step the whole day!

    I had a boss that did that to me. I was left to dig a trench for a new storm line going from the back of the house to the front. It was summer time and I was using a pick ax and shovel but ground was so darn hard. He came back after three hours and I was half finished soaking wet with sweat and breathing hard. He looks at me and walks to his truck comes back with a paper in his hand and tells me I have an hour to finish or I need to fill out this application. He walks away and I look at the application he handed me and sure enough a McDonalds application.

    I finished the rest in an hour.


    • #32
      Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

      Well this might be a bit risque, but when I meet a nice young lady in a bar and they ask me what I do. I reply, I'm and electrician and a plumber. I can remove your shorts and look for the wet spot.
      Last edited by fresnoplummr; 12-10-2009, 06:26 PM. Reason: mis spell.


      • #33
        Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

        Has anyone seen my can of Butt Putty????


        • #34
          Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

          Lines we hear and say when video inspecting:

          Customer: Looks like a colonoscopy!

          Tech: We can do those too. What day is best for ya?

          Customer: Is that what I think it is?

          Tech: No, thats a brown trout. They are common in these parts.....

          Customer: Which side is up?

          Tech: I'm pretty sure water flows on the top of the pipe.

          Tech: What you see here is aggressive root intrusion........

          Customer: No, it cant be! I don't have any trees in my front yard. My neighbors are the ones with the trees. (100ft. Maple 30ft away in neighbors yard)

          Customer: WOW! You made a copy of it on DVD???

          Tech: Thats right! We make dirty movies you can watch around the kids!

          Customer: WOW! You made a copy of it on DVD???

          Tech: Thats right! Its a dirty movie you can add to your collection. Don't lose it or it may end up on the Internet!

          Customer: WOW! You made a copy of it on DVD???

          Tech: Thats right! You can cozy up with a big bowl of popcorn and make a night of it!

          Customer: Wow! You made a copy of it on DVD???

          Tech: Thats right! We make dirty movies all the time! This one is "Volume #2"

          Drain Cleaner Dictionary: (Feel free to add more and your own description)

          Meat Hook - Turd
          Sewer Mice - Tampons
          Gold Nuggets - Corn
          Cotton Pony - Maxi Pad
          Coney Island Whitefish - Condom
          Schmegma - Black Sludge


          • #35
            Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

            On a drain cleaning call sewer line "YUPP THERES ALLWAYS CORN"


            • #36
              Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

              It's fine, it's not going to be on T.V.



              • #37
                Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

                Me and My helper have one. Usually use it when a customer is getting in the way

                me. You smell that.
                coworker. Yeah its shlt

                Than there was one time. We were doing this crappy job. In a old biulding that had been converted into apartments. Every drain in the building ran in to a 2 inch line than out to the street. We are talking an 8 plex with only a 2 inch line. Any way we find the clean out. which is about 6 feet above us. He goes to open it up. landlord stands right next to him. I ask the land lord to please move. he doesn't. welll we get a few 55 gal drums set yp and are ready to open it up. Again ask the LL to move he doesn't. My helper cracks the clean ots cap and all hell goes flying. The helper got out of the way the LL didn't.
                I remember him saying Holy sh3t. The helper replied I Don't think thats Holy. We got kicked off that job. But It was fuuny


                • #38
                  Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

                  tampon = vampire teabag

                  "Shi++ers full!"


                  • #39
                    Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

                    -$hit flows downhill because the a$$hole is always on top,

                    -It's your goat, f$%^ it anyway you want.

                    -Don't tell me what you can't do, show me what you can do.
                    Buy cheap, buy twice.


                    • #40
                      Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

                      "Can't see it from my house" quickly followed by " you will get the chance to try, you're fired"


                      • #41
                        Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

                        "Call somebody that gives a dam"
                        info for all: --- "I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."


                        • #42
                          Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

                          "It's not me, it's sewer gas." )
                          Time flies like an arrow.

                          Fruit flies like a banana.


                          • #43
                            Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

                            Originally posted by Ericdaplumber View Post
                            I am compiling a list of clean plumbing quotes and sayings. I grew up in a plumbing household and eventually I became a master plumber. The sayings like "dumber than a box of rocks."

                            Do you have any funny plumber's quotes or sayings? Comment here in this thread or on my blog.
                            The person that is not doing the job, can always do it faster, better & cheaper.


                            • #44
                              Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

                              Originally posted by DanLawrence View Post
                              ~“If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber. Albert Einstein quotes

                              ~A plumber attended to a leaking faucet at the neurosurgeon's house. After a two-minute job the plumber demanded $150.
                              The neurosurgeon exclaimed, 'I don't charge this amount even though I am a surgeon."
                              The plumber replied, "I agree, you are right. I too, didn't either, when I was a surgeon. That's why I switched to plumbing!"

                              ~A good flush beats a full house every time!

                              ~A doctor has some trouble with the kitchen sink, on a public holiday. He calls the local plumber, only to be told that it's his day off."But I get called out on my days off, too!" says the doctor, somewhat exasperated." So, the plumber relents.
                              The plumber arrives, and glances over the sink, looking preoccupied. He mumbles something about golf, then hands the doctor a couple of aspirin and walks out, saying, "Put these in. If it doesn't clear up in 24 hours, call me tomorrow."

                              ~ Old plumbers never die, they just pipe down.

                              ~It will get covered up anyways.
                              ~ My doctor said, as he was driving down his street, coming home from a long day at work, he sees a plumbing truck in his driveway. He looks up and says, "oh God, please let it be an affair".


                              • #45
                                Re: Plumbing Sayings & Quotes

                                " It'll fit"
                                You forgot the second half of this line:

                                "Get a bigger hammer!"
                                "It's a table saw, do you know where your fingers are?" Bob D. 2006



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