"Glad to do it"
"Glad to do it"
it took weeks to get the "thanks" button to work.
now lets use it.
phoebe it is
Light is faster than sound. That's why some people seem really bright until you hear them speak.
“If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber.” - Albert Einstein
"Its a table saw.... Do you know where your fingers are?"
While I agree with you on most of your statements, I think that it is the parents reponsibility to teach basic manners, like "please", "thank you", and "you're welcome".... BUT that is not to say that in the classroom perhaps the teacher might be able to instill some values. However, there are so many rules barring teachers from doing almost any kind of influencing, it's almost a crime. Can you imagine the ruckus that it would cause, should some brat come home and tell thier parent that "the teacher made me say THANK YOU!"
The point is that some phrases are just a turnoff to a lot of people, and "No Problem" can be to many, especially those who feel "You're Welcome" is the traditional response to a "Thank you", and that "No problem" is somewhat less. I'm sort of callous to most people's responses, I figure they just don't know, or just don't care, so why fight it.
Have you ever thought of asking your daughter or even that friend about why she seems to shun from saying "Thank you"? Maybe she's got a problem with the phrase for some long past reason. With your family, it seems there is some level of comfort provided that overlooks such a shortcoming in a friend, and that's nice. But socially, this could be a real flaw that others migh see in the young lady if she doesn't correct it. As a friend, it shouldn't be left to ignorance on her part. (I know that hearing of my own shortcomings in the past, has only been a brief embarrassmen, and the following feelings of appreciation that I have felt is a welcome part of learning.)
I take great pride in my manners. I was once told that if you can be nothing else, than at least one must be a "Gentleman"! Manners are extremely important, not just for yourself but for those around you; and my father would constantly remind me of any laxity on my part. Table manners were especially important, as was proper greetings, respect for women and elders, and even behaviour with my friends. I remember the only time that my father ever struck me... was in reaction to my disrespect to one of my friends. Knocked me flat on my butt, asking "Who in the HE!! do you think you are!!) On quick reflection, I surely deserved it and went up to my friends house to apologize.
I always hold the door for others, still open the car door for my wife, carry things for her, etc. Good manners is what makes a person and in proper exercise it can make all the difference to someone at which you direct your manners. I always ask how a server, cashier or whatever is doing and I mean it. I like to know a person's name, or address them as "Maam" or "Sir", regardless of age; and I always say "Thankyou" and "You're Welcome" and wish them a "great day" (usually saying, "Enjoy your day" or "have a great week"). It's amazing how nice people are when you are willing to have a conversation with them, even briefly.... letting them know that they're just not someone ringing out your purchase and nothing more. People like to be recognized and treated respectfullywell and especially like knowing that what they are doing is appreciated. It takes very little extra to express a personal greeting, ask how they are, recognize a nice smile, great name, or take note of something personable.
I've learned a lot from my wife, as she's far more attentive than I am. I've watched her as she spots when a person isn't feeling well or that something seems to be bothering them. In an instant she makes friends and I've seen her dig out a fresh bottle of water, an asperin, or even intentionally go back later or the next day to see how they're doing. She's constantly giving little presents to someone to brighten their day, like the little perfume that someone had admired, or the gift box for the occasional cashier sadned by a lost friend or relative.
It doesn't take much to recognize all the PIA people that someone has to face during their day, and to then try be the exception. Or that maybe someone doesn't have anyone who ever gives a sh!t, when there are so many of us who could.
Last edited by CWSmith; 11-03-2013 at 11:56 AM.
As I said...if my tone of voice is appreciative and my facial expression is engaging and joyful, It's incredibly lame to get hung up on the phrasology.
I don't care how you justify it.
The question remains....what if someone says "you're welcome" with a clear sarcastic edge or while rolling their eyes?
You got the words you want. Satisfied?
Let's all take a moment to go chase neighborhood kids off our lawn.
Research has shown that communication is:
55% Body language
38% Tone of voice
7% Actual words
You worry about words all you want. They neither make nor break the interaction we have with others.
Good post CWS. I think a lot of folks (especially women) avoid confrontation and don't want to hurt someone's feeling by pointing out their bad manners. I can't thank the people in my past for cluing me in on how to conduct myself as a gentleman, a caring guy. Sure it is embarassing in the moment but once you get past that it's "All Good". Hold a door for a lady, say please and thank you, see a guy arguing with his girlfriend and smack her for him, these are all examples of good manners.